Find Me Somebody To Love
by SleepingInTheMeadow
Summary: An extension and backstory for Evil Snow in 3x22. The Evil Queen has been chasing the infamous Regina for years now and cannot stop her obsession for revenge. Eventual Romantic Snow Queen.
1. I'm Not Yet Satisfied

**I'm gonna try something, so if you like this, let me know cause I'm not sure about this one. This is a take on 3x22, and this is Evil Snow's perspective, backstory, and corresponding events. This story is named after "Somebody To Love," by Queen. I hope you enjoy!**

I growled and slammed my hand onto the mahogany table I sat at as the knights informed me of their latest failure at capturing Regina. I felt a surge of magic running through my cold heart and to my veins. With a swift flick of my hand, a knight fell to the floor with a neck out of place and still lungs. I glared at the knight beside his lifeless body and his eyes widened and pulse quickened. I grinned as I twisted my hands and he met the same fate as the first.  


I stomped through the empty castle corridors, headed for my bedchambers. David followed behind me, knowing not to interfere. I burst through the doors of my room and grabbed the first thing I could reach.

I held a gold candlestick in my hands and hurled it out the window, hoping it hit the head of a lowly peasant. I drew in a deep breath and turned to the man standing awkwardly at the fireplace.

"Charming," I mocked coyly. He bowed his head.

"Your majesty, is there anything I can do for you?"

"In a perfect world, you would have Regina Mill's heart on a platter in front of me, but _you_ will do." He slunk towards me and I gripped the side of his face tighter than I should have and brought his lips to mine, capturing him with my tongue deep in his mouth.

Teeth and tongues clashed and I dragged him to my bed, tearing his tunic off his chest. I collapsed onto the silk covers, bringing him with me. I climbed on top and straddled him, but struggled with my dress. He reached behind me and undid the strings of my corset, whilst simultaneously lapping and biting at my neck and I sighed.

He took me hard and rough and fast, but not as hard as I wanted. I wanted it so hard that I couldn't breath, that I couldn't think a single sensible thought, that I couldn't steady the beating of my darkened heart. But alas, when did I ever get what I wanted?

I climbed off of him, sighing and situating myself under the covers. He breathed heavily and his cheeks were flushed.

"That will be all David," I dismissed.

"But-"

"Leave. You have your own bedchambers." He nodded meekly and grabbed his clothes, pulling them on slowly. He finally left and I sighed. I climbed back out of bed and stared at myself through the mirror. My cheeks and ears were slightly pink against my milky white skin. My body glistened with a light sheen of sweat, and my waist and neck were lightly discoloured.

After power, my most valued aspect of myself was my beauty. I took pride in my looks, and no man could hide the way they look at me. Sadly the monarchs and nobles don't even try to cover it up when conversing at balls and events. I may not be the fairest of them all, but I'm damn close. I bit my lip as a of wind swept through he room. I hastily drew the curtains and pulled on a nightgown. The room was barely lit by candles surrounding the room.

The Queen's chambers were spacious, but not exactly comforting. The walls were dark and this room was always drafty. It may have housed me for years now, but it was never home. Home was James. Home was anywhere but here. Anywhere but here and with father.

I blew out the candles shrouding my room except for the candle beside my bed. I climbed back under the silk covers and blew out the candle.

I couldn't fall asleep. I could never fall asleep, I haven't had a good nights sleep since James. Since the brat stole everything. Instead of fully sleeping, I was awoken by good dreams and bad. My favourites were of holding Regina's heart in my hand and crushing it, watching the ash from what was left of it fly away in the breeze of the wind to never beat again.

I wonder what she was doing. Was she hiding, was she sleeping, or was she ruining somebody else's life? Of course, the rest of the kingdom didn't agree, thinking she was a pure, kind princess on the run from the Evil Queen. They needed a reality check more than I do.

The room was dark when I finally mustered enough energy to get out of bed. Today was a council meeting and court was being held.

It was all very boring, but necessary. The council discussed what to do with the uprisings in the northeastern villages, and it would never be a council meeting without anyone losing their life, and it fell upon a carpenter, Gelato or something. He didn't matter, he never very good insights anyway.

I've heard of a grasshopper going around and offering advice to people and telling them about their lives, and all I could think was that he would hate to deal with me. He would say something like, _you're life is filled with death, that much is obvious. But there is a much deeper root to your anger and hatred. _Then he'd proceed to tell me about my mommy issues and that I blame myself and her, and whatever else. Yeah, he would absolutely hate me, especially when I crush his tiny, conscientious heart.

Court was no different. Execution dates for thieves, bickering merchants and other unimportant peasants. At the end of the day, I stood in the cool air of the night, basking in the silence.

At this exact spot one year ago, I had fallen off the balcony as the rails gave way. That was the day Tinkerbell saved me.

I remember her convincing me that she could find my true love, despite being married to the slimy old king, now rolling over in his grave. She had used her pixie dust, and lead me to the entrance of a tavern.

_"There," she said, pointing to a woman raising a mug of ale, clashing it with other mugs. I couldn't see her face, but she had flowing dark hair and wore a fur cloak. On her wrist, she wore a bracelet with a crown. _

_"Her? The girl with the crown bracelet?" The fairy beside me nodded and I rolled my eyes. _

_"Go on," she urged,"that's your true love." I nodded and she flew off. I paced back and forth, rubbing my arms and contemplated going in, when the lonely side spoke up and I left, catching a final glimpse at her._

I left my true love at that tavern and I don't know why. I loved the idea that James was my true love, and he was. He just wasn't there to love me like I needed. David sufficed for now, but I needed more than a bandage to cover the gaping hole in my black heart.

Not a day goes by without wondering who that woman with the crown bracelet was. It eats me alive and swallows me whole, leaving me to imagine her.

Some aspects I don't need to imagine, like her long, spiralling chocolatey hair, her tan skin, and her outfit. I imagine she has brown eyes, warm and inviting, that glimmer with hope and affection. I picture her lips curling upwards when she sees a friend, her bracelet-clad hand waving them over to her table and handing them a drink she insists on paying for, and talking with them in a cheery voice.

But it's time to face reality, and I don't think I will ever deserve someone as kind and genuine as the girl with the crown bracelet. I made my decision and I don't regret a thing about it.

After breathing in few more cooling wisps of air, I closed my dark curtains and faced the fir blazing in the black brick fireplace. A maid came rushing in and handed me a tray of food.

"You didn't arrive at supper, so I brought it to you," she mumbled.

"Fine." She stood in front of me as if expecting something more.

"Leave me or you get my fork lodged in your neck," I grumbled. She nodded quickly and scurried out of the room. I was left alone to eat my meal of dill soup, bread, cheese, and dried figs. I dug in but felt a dull ache in my stomach and didn't eat much. Another maid came in to take my dinner and tell me my bath was ready. I nodded and left.

Maids typically bathed royalty, but since being introduced to the royal life, I couldn't stand the thought of other people washing my body. Soaps and sponges were laid out on a tray beside the tub. I carefully undressed and got in, letting the scalding water soothe me.

I laid back and let my head rest against the lip of the tub and splaying out my legs in front of me. I felt the water cool and hopped out.

After locking myself in my bedchambers, I stared into my magic mirror.

"Mirror, find Regina," I ordered darkly. The face belonging to the obsessed genie nodded. An image of Regina hoisting herself atop a horse after shaking hands with a strange man and his wolf flashed upon the glass. I grinned.

"Perfect," I whispered to myself. I flashed my hand and the image disappeared. Ignoring the voice of the man calling out to me from his glass enclosure, I made my way to my bed, noting but never admitting, the empty loneliness that even David couldn't fill.

Again, restless sleep plagued my already exhausted body. Tomorrow is another day, and I _will _capture Regina, if it is the _last _thing I do.


	2. Blood Has Never Tasted So Sweet

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I had many tricks up my sleeve, more than that scaly little imp gave me credit for. If my knights and my huntsman weren't so incompetent, Regina Mill's body would be rotting in my maze of dungeons under the castle for a long time now.

I was getting back from an excursion around the kingdoms, and was even about to execute an entire village of people who denied having ties with Regina, when my the horses from the carriage got loose and we cut our trip short. Now, I was back in my chambers and absolutely livid. We could've had her, we were so close to Regina I could taste it.

"Rumplestiltskin, I summon thee," I called impatiently to the echoing room. He appeared in a puff of smoke.

"You seem restless, dearie. Any reasons," He mocked.

"I need a favour from you." I ignored his little quip at me and instead studied my perfectly manicured nails. He giggled and it took all I had not to tear his irritating voice box out of his chest and into the fire blazing in the fireplace.

"It's Regina," I started, but couldn't get a word in before he was giggling once more.

"I need something…a spell."

"I see the future, not read minds, you'll have to be a little more specific than that."

"I need you to teach me my mother's shapeshifting spell. Make me unrecognizable to anyone. Not to Regina, not to you, not to anyone." He grinned widely and hopped up and down while simultaneously clapping.

"I think I can do that, but it will certainly take longer than five minutes." he informed. I couldn't smile any bigger. He waved his hands and an unknown spellbook appeared where a shroud of smoke was mere seconds ago.

"Wait," I ordered,"what's your price?"

"Cut off ties with King George's kingdom."

"King George? Why?"

"I need him desperate and slightly broke, humour me here." I nodded.

"Teach me."

He circled his hands around, waving them in weird circles and patterns through the air, but I mimicked him, much slower and cautiously. I watched him as a cloud of purple smoke covered him, and out emerged an exact reflection of myself. He laughed in my voice, but I never had the same sense of humour as he did.

"Really," I grumbled annoyed. He laughed once more. He made the same waving motion with his hands and he was suddenly himself again.

"Try the motions," he urged. I looked at him cautiously and tried it. He began to giggle as I started and I glared at him.

"What," I growled.

"Oh, nothing dearie, keep going." I rolled my eyes for the thousandth time today and tried it again. This time looked better, but nothing happened.

"Don't worry, it took your mother _months _to learn this."

"Well that's a good thing I'm better than her, so much so that you want me to cast your petty curse."

"Yes, but we aren't that far ahead yet. I have faith that you can learn better than her." I grinned and practiced.

"Keep going and once you press your magic into it, you'll know when you get it." I nodded and he left.

——————————

I practiced for two straight weeks. Non-Stop waving of my arms in my spare time didn't do wonders for my arms, but as I was about to give up, I could feel it. A cloud of smoke enshrouded me as it has for so long now, and when it was gone, in my place stood a woman, same skin tone and hair colour as me, but her facial features were completely different from mine.

I left my bedchambers to leave and find Regina. This time, I would be victorious. Except the boards of guards leaving their post to their rooms were walking right back.

"Stop, thief!" I almost audibly gasped as I ran through the endless halls of this cursed castle. Once my lungs couldn't keep up with my feet, I stopped to catch my breath. They caught up and tugged at my arms relentlessly.

"Let me go, you arrogant fools. I am your _Queen."_ They still tugged at me, and I even heard one chuckling from behind me. They led me all the way down to the musty dungeons.

The scent of death and rot hit my nostrils like a frying pan to my face. Rats scampered across the cold stone floors covered in grime, uncleaned from years of neglect. They threw me into the cage like a common peasant and shut the doors hastily.

Once they left, I waved my hands and nothing happened. I did it again, and once more, but I was still stuck as an average -looking peasant charged with breaking into the Queen's castle.

Instead of sleeping like I should've, I screamed and shouted for the guards, but nobody answered. I slumped onto the crusty looking bed in the corner, which looked more like severely damaged wood covered in blankets than a bed. I would admit defeat today, but I will fight tomorrow.

——————————

I was to be executed. Without my command. I don't know what made me more furious, not asking for my permission, or executing me.

I fought as hard as they could when the led me to the courtyard. People were standing around, most of them knights, that were adjusting the ropes and putting the final touches on my last minutes of life.

"Any last words?" I shook my head defiantly and felt a rush of air past my ear. A girl wielding an array of daggers, a sword, and a bow bolted past me and took out every one of my guards. She turned her head, and standing before me, was my sworn enemy.

"Come on," Regina said. I stood in the courtyard, frozen in place and knees shaking.

"We need to go if we're going to escape," She said again. I nodded and let her drag me to whatever rock she was living under.

She led me through the forest to someplace I've never even fathomed before. A tent was set up in front of a pile of burned logs, her fire from the night before, I inferred.

"Why did you save me?" I asked as she dug through packs and satchels.

"Because I've been in your position before." I nodded and barely hid my eye roll.

"You're Regina."

"Yes, I'm sure you've seen my posters littered around the forest, but what can I call _you?" _I almost stuttered and said Snow, but I had better instincts than that.

"Mary," I muttered. She turned a blind eye to it and went back to her search for something. She pulled out something bulky and large wrapped in brown cloths.

"I'm sure you're very hungry," she said, and handed it to me, with her right hand. The exact same right hand I had seen in that tavern. The one holding the mug of ale in her right hand, with her crown bracelet wrapped tight around her wrist. I dropped the package she handed me, but quickly fixed myself and picked it back up, not dropping my gaze off the bracelet.

"I got that bracelet from my mother. My name means 'Queen' and knew it was fitting."

"So why aren't you, Queen, I mean. You _were _a princess."

"Yes, well my stepmother wasn't very keen on giving up her title." The mention of my status in her life made me want to jump her and extract every nerve from her dirty body. I nodded and finally unwrapped her package, a single piece of cold but cooked meat adorned with a few herbs.

"Thanks," I said coldly. She nodded shyly and backed into her tent. I cringed and tossed it behind me, quickly wiping my hands on the scarce rags barely covering my body. She came out and tossed me a bag. I looked at her confusedly.

"We can't stay here and I need help carrying things," she dismissed. I complied silently and waited for her while she took down her tent and covered any traces of staying.

She had led us somewhere, but I couldn't tell which direction, hell, I didn't know if we were even in my kingdom. We walked until I couldn't feel my legs, and we made camp where I had rested. I painted heavily while she unpacked her bags.

The scenery around me was foreign, but so was the rest of this unchartered forest. Green surrounded me in various hues, and the sun beat down on my face. We had passed through a smaller village where I was able to dig a few pieces of silver out of my pockets to buy bread without her knowing, and now was the perfect time to eat it.

This peasant life was new, to say the least. I never knew the state my kingdom was in until I bargained for my food. The man had demanded five pieces of gold for it, but I had always been known to be great at bargaining. I couldn't care less. It was survival of the fittest in this kingdom, and lucky for me, Regina was fit, but I was fitter.

I've had so many chances to stab her in the back, to beat her head against a log, anything. That was the day I knew I didn't want her dead just yet. I wanted her to suffer even more before her eyes see the last of this world before she dies. My life has been dedicated to making my prerogative, and my prerogative is Regina Mill's death.

Damn Rumpelstiltskin, I thought. He could've had the decency to at least teach me how to change back, but I'm guessing it's going to take as long as it took to learn it.

"I'll be right back," I called to Regina. She nodded and kept her eyes glued to the resources we had, or whatever she was doing.

Instead of helping, I would be making sure I could get out of this hell-hole alive without getting an infection, having my head chopped off, or softening in the face of Regina. I wouldn't lose my dignity in favour of Regina and the side of good. I was made evil. That's how it works. I was made evil, so that is what I am to the world. Regina was made good and pure, but deep down, she's had as much darkness injected into her as I did. I just had different ways of showing it.

I waved my hands like I've done before, and continued. Again, after giving up and thinking about going back to Regina, it worked. My stunning face, my full magic, and more importantly, my silk clothes.

I stormed out from the bushes, and before Regina could know what was happening, she was frozen in place with a look of shock forever planted onto her face, until I could order David and my me, after a little help from Sydney to find where exactly I was.

In little under an hour, Regina was in my grasp and I was high on dopamine. The thought of her torture, both bruises on her tanned skin and her pain and turmoil made me feel _something _for the first time in what feels like centuries. I will forever have a piece of her, and I can't wait to conquer all of her, take and take and watch until I'm not really taking it, but she's _offering _it to me.

I ignored her pleading and appealing to my darkness on the ride back to the castle. I was too caught up in my fantasies of pain. Mother would be proud of me, at last. Father would pity me, but as always, he never knows what's best for me, he knows what's best for the _old _Snow White. Now? I'm the Evil Queen, and truly living up to my name.


	3. I'm Not in Denial

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She was infuriating. Everything she said, everything she did, I loathed. I don't think I could hate anyone else as much as her if I tried. What's worse, a fairy told me she's my soulmate. Something must be severely broken with her magic, because I couldn't hate anyone as much as I did Regina.

I paced back and forth in my throne room, something I've been doing quite often now. At this very moment, she was being tortured however my guards thought necessary. I didn't go down to the dungeons after capturing her. I couldn't stand her as it is, let alone begging for her life.

Instead, I couldn't stop thinking about that idiotic fairy and her proposition that someone I kicked out of my castle with nothing but the clothes on her back could love me. Nobody could love me. I was too far gone, Rumple told me so. Nobody loved a lost cause, nobody but my father.

Father had tried everything he could to pull me away from the darkness. He told me that my revenge couldn't bring back James, that my vengeance wasn't worth sacrificing my purity, but I never had purity. Mother took it from me. I could never be good, not with her influence hovering over me like my reflection. I may not see her, but she is always there.

I trusted my best guards to get anything out of Regina, make her submit to me and admit her inferiority. This is the happiest I've ever been.

No matter how much I tell myself that there is no escaping the shadows of darkness that encase me, there is still that small voice telling me not to kill, to care for the peasants of this kingdom, and the voice belonged to James.

I didn't care. Not anymore. He's dead, his voice has absolutely no influence on me anymore. Now it's only Regina and my need for justice that can control me. Father would die trying to stop me.

My knights emerged from the dungeons, my head knight with a streak of blood on her face.

"She's ready to talk with you," she informed.

"Thank you Red." I sashayed past them and to the dungeons below the castle.

"Hello, _Regina," _I growled. She was sitting on the stone ground holding her legs to her chest.

"I see my knights had a bit of fun with you." She scowled.

"What do you want from me. I don't have money or information, so what is this?"

"Oh, this is punishment. Can't you tell? I thought my knights bruised you up enough to know that this is merely _vengeance."_

_"_What did I do," she pleaded.

"Are you that naive? You roped me into that horrible marriage to your father. You have no _idea _what I went through."

"This is all because I made you marry my father."

"Not all of it, you told my secret. You swore that you wouldn't tell Mother, that you could keep quiet about James. Remember him? Mother _killed_ him. You deserve _everything _I inflict on you." I was yelling now, clenching my hands on the metal bars of her dungeon cell, shaking with rage.

"Not so pure now, are you," I taunted. A small tear trickled down her cheek.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"You aren't sorry, if you were, you wouldn't be in this cell pleading for your life." I opened the bar door and stomped towards her. I kneeled in front of her and thrust my hand into her chest, hearing her gasp and sob while my hand pulled out her bright red heart. I grinned wickedly. This is what I've wanted for a decade and a half.

"Finally," I whispered. Regina tried pouncing at me.

"No. You will sit and obey my every order." Snow involuntarily sat down.

"You will wait here until tomorrow, where I will crush your heart to dust. If I were you, I'd tie off loose ends with people, except you can't leave. See you tomorrow!" Her bruised and bleeding face twisted into defiance. I completely ignored her as I left, laughing in the face of my victory.

——————————

My knights never questioned anything I asked, other than the stray few that never lived within their first week of being a knight of the royal guard.

David, on the other hand, he may be a skilled hunter, but he never had the heart to kill anyone. He's just for decoration. And for pleasing me, he wasn't bad at that either.

He was just climbing off me when I dismissed him back to his own bedchambers. he nodded silently and slipped out the door. I sighed and put on my nightgown.

Once I was dressed, I sat in my plush white chair in front of the blazing fire. From behind me, I heard a small sound.

"Rumplestiltskin what do you want." Instead of the gravelly voice belonging to the imp, it was a kind voice, a man.

"Who the hell are you," I asked. I looked behind me and saw a cricket where my ear was.

"Dammit," I muttered, grabbing it's abdomen and flicking it towards the fire.

"No, stop, your majesty. I'm here to help," he said soothingly.

"What can you help with? Everything in my life is going just fine without your help."

"Is it? Of your life was just fine, I wouldn't be here."

"Speaking of which, why _are _you here," I asked, but it sounded like an order the way I barked it.

"I have a gift in helping, but that isn't important. Regina is."

"Yes, I have her execution tomorrow morning."

"No, that's not it. She means something to you."

"How could she mean something to me? She is the reason James is dead. She is the reason so many people have died at my hands. She made me like this."

"I think she is the only living reminder of him, of when he was still alive." I laughed and grinned snarkily at him.

"I thought you said you had a gift. It seems like it isn't panning out the way you thought it would." Despite my rude comments, he went on.

"I think you're relentless obsession is something else. If it was only just vengeance, wouldn't you have caused enough?"

"It is never enough for Regina. She needs to suffer as much as I did, more even."

"After taking her, why haven't you killed her yet? Are you having second thoughts? You could've killed her even in your disguise. Why didn't you?"

"How do you know about that?"

"Doesn't matter. Anyway, have you thought about what Tinkerbell said at all? Are you having second thoughts because of her observation? As you know, the fairy dust never fails."

"And how do you-"

"You saw her bracelet, the one Tink said belonged to your soulmate, on her wrist and realized that she was your soulmate. It triggered a sense of denial on the outside, but you had to rethink you're entire life's goal. So you didn't kill her when you changed back and brought her back to the castle to hurt her while you thought everything through, whether she could love you, or if you were too far gone. I think you're hunt for her is fuelled by love, or the idea of love, not hatred."

"I am too far gone," I muttered. He may be right, but I would never admit to myself or anyone.

"I'll prove I'm not in love with her. I'll cast my curse and separate her from _everyone _she ever loved_." _I cackled and flicked the little bug away. I stood up from my chair.

"Rumplestiltskin," I shouted. He was laying across my bed in seconds, playing with the material for a moment.

"My my, someone's impatient."

"I need my curse. Now."

"Oh, well I don't have it. Maleficent does. Remember your sleeping curse you traded?" I grumbled.

"Fine, you are going to help me get it back." He rolled his eyes.

"No, I won't. But, I will give you a piece of advice." He hopped off my bed and crept closer to me.

"Love. Is. Weakness." He giggled and as quick as he was here, he disappeared.

"Daddy," I called,"I'm going out." I twirled my hands and saw the smoke surround me before I was in Maleficent's study. She was sitting in a chair in front of the fire, running her hand along a unicorn's fur sitting beside her.

"Mal, I need my curse back," I demanded bluntly.

"Why? I have no use for my sleeping curse anymore, why would I take it back?"

"Because I need my dark curse back."

"Well I hate to disappoint you, but you can't have it back." Acting on reflexes, I threw out my hands and pushed her up against the wall. She wouldn't stay there, but it was enough time to reach my goal.

Instinctually, I ripped out the small unicorns heart. I heard her screaming for me to stop.

"Love really is weakness," I mumbled before fastening Maleficent to the wall with the stone wall behind her.

"Now where could it be?" I asked, looking around the massive room. My eyes fixed on her dragon sceptre wrapping it's wings around a red glass ball in the middle. I looked up to her fearful face and grinned. I smashed the glass on the floor, digging through shards of glass to find a slip of paper.

"Thank you," I said, and disappeared.


	4. The Start Of Something New

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**Disclaimer: I wanted to switch Leopold to take place as "Cora" for Snow, instead of Eva. Also, this is only an extension of 4x22, so Zelena and Robin got married, without the influence of Henry or Emma. **

It didn't matter what that incessant bug thought. He was wrong, I don't think I could find room in my heart for love anymore, especially when it's already occupied by the hate for Regina. With my curse, I would prove that she didn't deserve the happiness everyone wants for her, and that I didn't love her. I could never love her after everything she did to me.

Preparations for my curse were underway. I was gathering with the band of the most evil beings in the realm to help me, and all my ingredients were gathered. Nothing could stand in my way, not even Regina in my cell at this minute.

Speaking of the filthy bandit, I believe that at this point, it was time to start gloating my sticky-sweet victory. As I wa beginning to leave, a particular Dark One stood in my way.

"What do you want," I groaned. His smile was bitter and obnoxious, an image I always loathed each time I saw it.

"Well, I forgot to inform you of a few little…_details, _this curse entails." I motioned for him to get it over with.

"Your curse, the little indestructible curse you hold in your hands right there, can be broken. It can be broken, but the chances are slim. Except it can happen, and I foresee it will. A saviour child will be born from Zelena Jade and Robin Hood."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you _will _cast the curse, even if you know the exceptions." I raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Everything I foresee happens. Even if circumstances change." I snarled at him.

"Well, I don't need your petty comments. Move along and spin your wheel." I couldn't figure out what the look he gave me meant, but it looked uncaring and spiteful. He disappeared again and I stormed through the remnants of the indigo smoke.

Father told me I wasn't going to succeed, Rumplestiltskin was skeptical of my abilities, and Maleficent was a dragon, something I couldn't possibly compete with. But I did. I'm no longer weak, I'm the best sorcerer in the realm, and even Maleficent couldn't object. The last ounce of love had been taken from me, and the only thing that replaces it is power fueled by revenge. It was inebriating.

I would only feed that intoxication with boasting my victory to Regina. I rounded the corners and descended the stairs to the dungeons carved into the rock of the mountain.

To grace my sight was Regina Mills shaking on the ground with lash marks crossing over her cheeks and on her almost bare and starved physique. I couldn't hold back a chuckle. She turned her head fully and stared at me. She didn't speak, just watched me, then turned back to whatever was drawing her attention before I arrived.

"Well hello to you too," I remarked. "I've come to gloat."

"I already know you've won," she mumbled. I laughed.

"You're correct. I thought you'd be more hopeful or whatever when I captured you. That was a disappointment." She didn't respond, just played with a few rocks on the cold stone floors. She turned her head to cough and continued chucking pebbles at the wall.

"Well it's no fun to gloat when you don't care. Couldn't you care a little?"

"I've given up on caring a while ago."

"What does that mean," I demanded.

"You've been a lost cause since you sent the Huntsman."

"I'm afraid it's been long before."

"You don't have to do this," She begged,"there is still forgiveness in your heart somewhere."

"You know _nothing," _I growled.

"That's not entirely true. I know that you loved once. I know you loved _me, _way back when. I know there's still a small part of you that regrets at least _some _of this."

"I'm afraid none of that is true. I was going to keep this little tidbit to myself, but Tinkerbell told me _you _were my soulmate. Fairy dust is wrong and unreliable."

"You're only proving my point further."

"No, in fact I'm proving _my _point. That was a year ago. I would've loved you before then, so she's completely and utterly wrong."

"Maybe you just haven't tried loving yet." I rolled my eyes.

"I don't think I could have the capacity to love anyone, just as no one has the capacity to love me."

"Maybe you haven't asked."

"I didn't have to ask with James!"

"Why is James relevant? He ran away, didn't he?" I fell silent. I forgot she didn't know he died.

"Whatever. I hope you enjoy your last hours of freedom, because nothing will stand in my way, and I will see to it." I waved my hand behind my back and she crawled onto her knees, already giving up. I knew the feeling, but it wasn't present at the time.

——————————

An array of monsters, witches, beasts, and evil spirits were gathered around my boiling cauldron. The area smelled like rotted and melting flesh, a smell I grew used to after my couple years of potion-making.

"It's nearly ready," I whispered. "In order for this to work, I need a strand of hair from every one of you," I instructed. They all nodded and plucked hair from their heads and dropped them into the boiling emerald mixture. All I needed was the heart of the thing I love most.

I pulled out a pouch from a pocket of my dress and held a glowing red heart in my hand, belonging to my most prized horse. I closed my eyes and crushed it ruefully. I dropped the ashes from my hands through my fingers and into the cauldron.

A large cloud of plum and olive-coloured smoke rose from the mixture. Wind blew from all around me. I smiled and relished the feeling of authority, power, and immense strength.

The invigorating feeling died out once the cloud was sucked back into the cauldron once more. I grimaced and growled under my breath. From across the space of the area, a giggling elf was bent over, laughing like he was cursed to.

I flicked my wrist and his face was forever contorted into the laughter which cost him his life. I grinned and disappeared to my castle.

"Rumple, what the hell did you do," I demanded. He was already in my room before I'd arrived, sitting at my vanity looking over the various fragrances and jewelry on the surface.

"I forgot one more thing. The thing you love most has to be human. How silly of me," he chuckled. I stammered and hung my mouth open.

"Are you kidding," I asked aggressively.

"I never joke, dearie." He left once more and I was left in my room, alone.

"Mother," I called. I waited on my bed for a moment, and she scurried in.

"What is it, Snow?"

"It's…complicated."

"Well, go on. I'll try and understand."

"In order to finish my curse, I need the heart of the thing I love most."

"Would that not be Azarax?"

"Not exactly. It doesn't work like that. It works with a human heart." My mother knew exactly what I meant when she stepped back and made a face of despair and betrayal.

"Please don't do this, my Snow. I believe you can move on from your quest seeking revenge. We can travel away from the castle and live a peaceful life in the woods. You can move on from your hurt. Just let me show you."

"I have to do this, mother. This _is _my happiness. I'm so sorry," I said as my hand thrust into her chest. Her mouth fell open in tearful agony. My heart broke once more as I pulled hers out.

"I'm so so sorry. I love you so much."

"I'd you love me, you won't do this."

"I do love you. I love justice more." My eyes grew cloudy with tears and her once-whole heart was now dust coating my fingers. I stood over the balcony and held the dust tightly. I looked back at my mother laying on the ground, forever breathless and her muscles tensed in fear. She couldn't save her own daughter. It was saddening. I disappeared to the cauldron. Everyone was gone by the time I was back and I just realized it was night.

I sighed and dropped what was left of her heart into the bubbling mix of ingredients. A cloud of the same purple and green shade spun around me once more, but instead of retracting into the cauldron again, it spread through the air like a disease. It quickly engulfed the land I left behind in favour of my own castle. It grew in size and consumed everything in it's path. I stood on the balcony once more, relishing the gloom and darkness it brought with it.

It neared closer and closer, and I heard frantic footsteps outside the door. They burst open and Regina bound in shackles was panting in my doorway.

"Why," she asked.

"Because you took _everything _from me. It's only fair to take everything from you. You brought this upon yourself, not me."

"It never works like that. You could've forgiven me and let everything go back to normal. You'd never have had to sacrifice anything if you'd just chosen forgiveness." I rolled my eyes.

"I could've never forgiven you," I yelled through the noise. The curse was just outside the castle, ripping everything away into an abyss of both nothing and everything.

"Anyone could've forgiven me. Just as I'd forgiven you," she yelled back, before we were all sucked into a vortex of the new world, and the promise of vengeance.


	5. A Spectacle Indeed

**Please send me feedback and I hope you enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: this is a SnowQueen fanfiction. Please stop complaining about how I'm treating David, this isn't about him right now. He is merely a minor character that is essentially replacing Graham, he is only a distraction from James. **

The first thing I registered was my silky smooth sheets rubbing against my legs. I almost pulled the sheets over my head, but I had just registered where I was. I shot upright and jumped out of the bed. I looked in a mirror next to my dresser, and I couldn't believe my eyes. My hair was now just above my shoulders in wavy ringlets. My pyjamas were light blue and as soft and smooth as the bedsheets. My curse worked. I did it, the one thing Father could _never _do.

My house was a spectacle to be seen, so strange and beautiful and large. Everything was cream-coloured and gorgeously designed. If we were in the Enchanted Forest, I would've paid extra to the people who made furniture as gorgeous as this.

Some things were confusing, but my brain automatically knew these things as _microwaves _and _cereals. _I pulled down a bowl from a cupboard and poured myself a bowl of bran cereal. It tasted bland, and paired with coffee, made the perfect breakfast I could think of.

I heard a sharp snap on the door, and when I opened it, the paperboy was just wheeling off to the next block. I remember him from the enchanted forest, he was another peasant. I remember the fear in his eyes when he begged me to spare his family; I didn't. Such fun, rampaging around the Enchanted Forest, I knew I would grow to miss it.

I slipped on my black heeled shoes, paired with my white blouse and black pantsuit, and my grin only grew at the sight of unknowingly miserable citizens of Storybrooke, all at the hands of their mayor.

My smile quickly washed away when I caught sight of the girl responsible for her own demise. Regina was carrying a handful of papers and documents. When I tried to brush past her as coldly as I could, her shoulder made contact with mine and she dropped her papers.

"I'm sorry, Madame Mayor," she murmured as she knelt before me, grabbing her papers as fast as her fingers could manage.

"You should be," I responded before leaving her to collect her documents. I also met Rumplestiltskin, that incessant cricket trying to prove I loved Regina, and one of those dwarves, I never bothered to learn their names. I was especially glad to see that cricket going about his day, oblivious to my victory. I never loved Regina. He was clearly eating some kind of magic mushroom.

After my little tour down main street, I arrived at my office. I didn't bother to hire anyone as a secretary, I already knew if they came from our land, they were already useless.

I settled down into the comfy leather chair and pulled out the many papers covering the top of my oak desk. My calendar and planner was filled out to the max, with maintenance reviews, business taxes, and budget reports filling the dates of May.

I didn't mind working all day and well into the night, it was usually required when running a kingdom. It wasn't a lot of work anyways, and it was better than coming home to an empty house, even if it was as big and magnificent as it was. It was all worth it for Regina's agony. I repeated the never-ending mantra to myself, even as I was laying on the couch with my feet hanging off the back and my head off the front, slightly tipsy and still holding a glass of bourbon in my carefully manicured fingers.

Drinks have most certainly gotten better in this realm. I remember sneaking an entire bottle of wine into my bedchambers and drank every last drop, while people celebrated my seventeenth birthday; at least pretended to celebrate.

I cocked my head back up and swung my legs back over the couch properly and went to bed in my blouse and unbuttoned slacks.

——————————

This curse is getting really boring. Four months and nothing interesting has happened. The curse was going to reset in about two days, and it'll repeat for the fifth time since it was cast.

I didn't understand why the curse couldn't spice it up a little, like an unexpected murder or a resident-goes-rogue-and-breaks-down situation. I'll take anything but Regina running into me every single day, working from eight to ten and drinking two glasses of the strongest liquor I can find before dreading the next lonely day in my bed. Maybe I had to do it myself. Maybe this town could do with one less snivelling little dwarf.

This wasn't the way to go, I could ruin the entire timeline of this curse, and that wasn't something I was willing to risk. Instead, I could always pester Regina. Maybe even that bug-therapist. I could cut my hair as well, I've always loved it shorter in the Enchanted Forest, I might as well bring a taste of it back.

I made an appointment with the only hairdresser in town and downed another glass of whiskey, feeling the burn in my throat. Of course, I wouldn't mind bugging Regina a little either, I could probably find her at her precious little bar. I also had to remember not to call her Regina, but Roni.

I forced myself into bed with the same dead hope I've had for the last four months and forced myself to sleep.

I ignored my alarm clock buzzing in my ear in favour of more restless sleep. I didn't even have to be up until ten with my hair appointment. I eventually dragged myself back out of bed and dressed myself in my tightest red dress and black blazer. Before leaving, I filled a scratched up travel mug with fresh coffee and left.

I drove past the neighborhood residents outside fixing their signs outside, limping on their canes, restocking a fresh bouquet of roses in store windows, and fixing the signs outside windows from _closed _to _open. _I drove past without thinking twice, except when passing Roni's.

I saw a peep of her frizzy hair, thin grey sweater, and black jeans as she walked back into the bar with the swagger of a cocky and slightly hungover bartender. I smirked. Some just weren't as lucky as I was with this curse, although I played a part in this game, the puppeteer.

I walked in and the smell and faint taste of roses and mangoes wafted heavily through the humid room.

"Madame Mayor, good morning. I'll be right with you," a small woman with wavy hair and glasses half the size of her face replied. I nodded grouchily and sat in the chairs against the window. I didn't have to wait for more than thirty seconds before the same woman came out from behind a shelf separating the waiting room from the mirrors and chairs.

"We're ready for you," she said significantly more nervously than before. I nodded and slipped my coffee once more before leaving it on the glass-top table beside my chair.

"What're you planning on today," she asked cheerfully.

"I want my hair cut short," I instructed. The confused face in the mirror looked back at my own. "I want a pixie cut." She nodded immediately and snipped a strand of hair near my right shoulder.

—————————

"Ms. White, you got a haircut," Roni said once I strode in. I touched the hair on top of my head, and oh, how I've missed it.

"I'm aware of that, Miss Mills," I said before sitting at the counter and ordering a scotch, my latest indulgence in my mini-bar at home.

I wasn't sure why I was suddenly sitting in Roni's drinking a whisky, watching my nemesis slide cocktails over to waiting customers chatting with their friends, while a jukebox played rock songs, but I wasn't leaving now.

"Molly, I need those onion rings," Roni called over her shoulder. A girl nodded and held a plate of onion rings in her shaking hands.

"She's new, but she's an excellent cook," Roni whispered to me. I nodded politely and slipped the rest of my drink down my throat.

"Slow down there, Miss White, let me catch up."

"You shouldn't be drinking on the job, and I'm perfectly fine at the pace I'm going at," I retorted. She backed up and held her hands up in surrender, while ignoring my words and pouring two shots of tequila.

"Here, on the house," she said, sliding a glass over. I rolled my eyes but took it and downed it almost as fast as her.

"I win," she asaid a little too loudly.

"You're a bartender, you have an advantage."

"I still won," she said, shrugging her shoulders.

"I should go," I said suddenly.

"But you just got here."

"I'm fully aware. I have a big day tomorrow."

"It's a Saturday."

"A mayors job never stops," I mumbled before leaving a twenty on the counter and slipping off the barstool. She sighed exhausted lot but let me go without anymore protest.

I didn't actually have anything to do for tomorrow, but I needed to get out of that sweaty bar and away from the brat running a bar on a few measly dollars from inheritance.

Instead of going home like an intelligent person, I visited the crypt, almost empty other than a few cobwebs, and my mother's casket collecting dust. I gathered a bundle of snowbells from outside and laid them gently on her grave.

"Not a day goes by where I don't miss you. Someday, this will all be worth it. That day is coming close, I feel it," I whispered, before gently planting a kiss on her grave and trudging out drunkenly.


	6. Prove Him Wrong

**I can honestly say I don't really know what I'm doing. Oops! I'm not sure how long I'm going to keep this going for, maybe 3-4 more chapters, maybe more, again, I don't know. Please send feedback, and I hope you enjoy!**

**Also, there was a rating change for _dubious content _in this chapter, so watch out for that!**

Roni was getting more friendly with me. Instead of cowering in fear when she crossed me on the streets, she would stop me to talk, regardless if I walk as fast as I could, to show I didn't actually _want _to talk to her. I quickly realized that I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't bother wasting my energy on making snappy quips back at her.

"Madame Mayor, you look very nice today."

"…thank you," I muttered. She smiled shyly before passing me again. Sometimes these interactions were the best part of my day, sometimes the worst; it all depended on my mood and how much work was waiting for me at my office. Today was a better day.

There wasn't any work at the office, other than a few short meetings, so I treated myself to a glass of whiskey. Sometimes I'd let Roni great me to one, but I couldn't bring myself to leave the office.

When I cast the curse, I didn't know how lonely it would get. Especially when I was an Evil Queen living in a town of boring people with even more boring lives. Even David couldn't make me feel less lonely.

Nothing ever happened here. Kathryn would tell me about the latest gossip she heard that day, like how Ruby's outfits get more revealing, how drunk Leroy was that day, and how shady Mr. Gold was, lurking in the shadows of the buildings.

Maybe it wasn't too late to get to Roni's. It was only a bit after eight. It'd be better than wallowing alone on my black leather with a tumbler full of whiskey. I reluctantly got up off the couch and swept to my chair to grab my coat. I pulled out my keys from my pocket.

"I'm leaving for the night, you may go," I said to my assistant. I figured I could use a little help managing my schedule, so I swept my pride under the rug and caved.

There were never any good radio stations playing in my car, and even when I found a good station, it was always staticky. I almost always drove in silence now, maybe putting in a CD if I felt like it.

As always, the bar smelled like French Fries, smoke, and stale beer. Roni was wiping the counters with an awful blue dish cloth. Her face lit up when her eyes settled on my tired face.

"Madame Mayor, good to see you again," she said as casually as she could. I didn't respond when I sat down in front of her.

"Beer, please."

"You never drink beer."

"Yes, well I think I'll try it." She grinned before popping below the counter to grab one from a case on the floor and pulled the cap off a bottle and handed it to me. "Thanks."

"No problem. I'm guessing this adventurous side is coming from a hard day?"

"No, it wasn't bad, per se. I just wanted to…try something different." She nodded understandingly. She tipped back her own bottle with half the label picked off the side.

"I thought I said it wasn't a good idea to be drinking on the job," I teased. She thought I was serious, but quickly realized I was kidding.

"Have I ever listened to you?"

"I suppose not." She took a generous before putting her bottle down and leaned over the counter. Her breath smelled of beer and spearmint gum. She just surveyed my face like a prize from a claw machine that she wasn't sure for trying to win. By the way her face twisted from questioning to flirtatious told me everything I needed to know.

"Molly's gonna take over my shift in five minutes. Wanna go to a booth?" I'm not sure if my beer or my loneliness was deciding for me when I answered.

"Sure. Why not?"

"Great." She reached her hand out for the basket of walnuts on the counter.

"Why would you eat those? Do you _know _how many hands have been in there? If there spending their time in a bar like _this,_ I don't imagine them being the cleanest of people." She popped a few into her mouth.

"Ha ha. I was watching, the only person who ate from this basket is Lacey, and I'm sure she washes her hands."

"You never know." Molly ran through the doors, making me jump out of my seat. She was struggling to hold her purse, keys, jacket, and apron on her skinny arms.

"Hey Molly," she greeted, before unwrapping her own apron and hanging it on a nearby peg, beside the phone. I hopped off my barstool and made my way through the large crowd people to the booth in the corner. I heard Roni trailing behind me. I took off my coat before settling in in the corner. Roni had brought her bottle of beer, and brought an extra for my almost-empty one. We didn't talk for a while, I just watched her pick the label off her bottle again, trailing my to her fingers, her bare arms, her tank top with some rock band logo fading in the middle, her neck, and her face. I couldn't deny it, she really was the fairest of them all.

From the corner of my eye, I saw her scoot closer to me; it was only half an inch, but that was half an inch more than before.

"Would you like anything? I'm sure you know how great of a cook Molly is."

"I'm well aware, but I think I'll pass."

"Are you sure? Her french fries are amazing." For the third time tonight, I made a decision I would never normally make.

"Sure." I watched Roni call over her employee and order two baskets of french fries. She shakily nodded before scurrying into the kitchen. She came back out with her hands full of red baskets with fries.

"Thank you, Molly." I pulled out a bill from my purse, before Roni's hands were on mine, stopping my hand from moving. Her firm hand held mine, even after I accepted defeat. She may not look it, but she was strong.

"Don't be ridiculous, I'm paying."

"Nonsense, I've got it." Her hand didn't move from mine, and an involuntary and unasked-for tremor in my hand and sweat on my forehead betrayed me. She must've noticed my tremor and stumble of incoherent words, because she slid closer to me still, her right hand never leaving her beer bottle, and her left never leaving my hand. I pulled my hand back from my wallet and she didn't let go. She was either prideful or unrelenting in the face of what she wanted. It was too easy to tell what she wanted, just as it was too easy to see my nerves.

"Seriously. I got it. I get a discount for owning the bar, remember?" I let a trepidatious laugh slip from my dry lips. She was leaning closer to me now, slipping a french fry in her mouth. I quickly looked down to my own basket of fries and shovelled them into my mouth. I was never this nervous. Never. Not once. Now look at me, highly strung around Regina, of all people, blushing under her implacable stare. Damn that bug.

I never loved her; I never loved anyone. And yet the cricket inserted one measly thought in my mind and my brain goes on overdrive. Every part of me knows I'm not in love, except for the part of my brain that houses the memory; the idea of it all. That I could love someone and someone could love me. Regina Mills's last words ran through my brain again. _Anyone could've forgiven me. Just as I'd forgiven you. _I don't love her, but that cricket made me doubt myself. And doubt was never welcome in my presence.

I kept eating my fries until the basket was empty and I was kind of regretting eating so much. But then Roni was looking at me; half impressed, half flirty, as per usual. Instead of backing away, I moved closer. She was an inch away from me now, her nose nearly touching mine.

I didn't think. I didn't want to. Instead, I kissed her without feeling anything but full. Full with her tongue in my mouth all of a sudden, grabbing the back of my neck and pulling her fingers through my short-cropped hair and pulling me closer, but of all the things I was full of, it sure _wasn't_ remorse, love, or loneliness.

She filled the lonely hole David hasn't been able to fill in the five months this curse has been set, and it felt _amazing. _Almost like when I finally indulged in the power dark magic offered to me. It was powerful, dangerous, and so incredible.

The kiss became more gentle as time wore on. At this point, neither of us cared how many people were watching. She gently pulled apart from me.

"Want to go somewhere…private," she asked through deep breaths. I immediately nodded and grabbed her hand. There was no doubt in what we were doing. I pulled in deep gulps of fresh air as we stopped outside. We were both too drunk to try and drive, so I called a cab for us.

She was still holding my hand and smiling faintly with the ghost of my lips still lingering. I hadn't felt this sort of freedom since I ripped out my first heart and crushed it from that girl Rumple had replaced me with. He was an idiot for thinking I couldn't be the one to cast his curse. I was powerful, in more ways than one.

Roni looked over at me with a hint of a smile tugging at her lips. She pulled me in by my arm and connected my lips to hers. I couldn't deny it, she was my drug, an addiction I wouldn't be able to kick after I got a taste of her mint gum and liquor tainting her mouth.

The cab pulled up silently in front of us, waiting for us to climb in. Once we were both seated, I immediately turned back towards her to indulge in her once more. My tongue slipped into her mouth easily, tangling with hers. She barely hid a moan from the man sitting expectantly in front of us. She pulled back from me for a moment to gasp out her address, before reeling herself back in.

We were soon stopped in front of her apartment. I pulled back sharply to clamber back out and to follow her into her room.

It was small and drafty, with paint chipping, floorboards creaking, and bricks that have clearly seen better days. As soon as we entered, I didn't have the time to look around thoroughly before she was holding onto the small of my back, running her mouth up and down my neck, right near my pulse. I groaned, before pushing her up against the wall and taking her small black coat off her curvaceous body.

She pushed me off of her and staggered me around to her bedroom, whilst peeling off layer after layer, until I was standing in only my lacy bra and matching panties in front of her, lying on the bed waiting for me. I climbed over her and sat on her waist, letting my wet panties soak her skin. She groaned, before yanking her own tank top over her head. I quickly hoisted my hips off of her waist to help pull her jeans off, and she whimpered in frustration. I flashed her a wicked grin before I slunk down over her stomach, pressing sloppy kisses over her taught stomach, going higher and higher until I reached her blue bra.

It was off in less than a second, and I clasped my mouth over her breast. She writhed below me, hips wriggling in search of friction. I only tightened my legs more firmly around her, and flicked my tongue over her nipple, while running my hand up her waist and over the curve of her other breast.

She grabbed my free arm impatiently and led it lower, near the waistband of her panties. I looked up at her for a silent confirmation before sliding them off her legs, following them down her legs, licking a strip of skin being slowly revealed from her underwear. I heard her quiet pleas from above me, and couldn't wait any longer. I inched my way back up until my tongue was just hovering over her core. She groaned and bucked her hips in the air in anticipation.

I stuck out my tongue to slowly lick over her dripping wet slit and to her clit. She gasped and pushed her hips further to my face. I grinned before repeating the action, quickly darting my tongue inside of her each time.

"Snow," she moaned pleadingly. I knew she was building up and couldn't wait any longer. I closed my lips over her throbbing clit and thrust a finger inside her. She grabbed my hair and urged me forward into her. I twisted and curled my fingers over the spot that made her shake and tremble, repeatedly, then pushed in a second finger.

She exploded with the force of an entire army, and I licked my tongue flat against her as she came. Her grip on my was loosening and her legs were falling from beside my head back onto the bed. She held a hand over her her chest, struggling to slow her breathing, as I crawled back up the length of her body.

I kissed her with a ferocity she wasn't expecting, and I knew she could taste herself on my tongue by the way she groaned against my swollen lips. Her cheeks were flushed by the time I pulled back. I never knew _not loving_ someone could feel so intense and warm and rewarding all at once. She quickly drew back from my arms and ran her hands over my skin. I knew I was too far in, even in only an hour of actually kissing her, feeling her warmth, and memorizing the way she smiled after we pulled back from a deep kiss.


	7. Your Smile and Alcohol Doesn't Mix

**Please send feedback, and I hope you enjoy! I wanted to keep Snow's name the same, 'cause that was how it was with Regina when she cast her curse. **

That woman is slowly starting to kill me. Each tantalizing smile she throws at me during town meetings, the kind of smile that makes my knees weak. Each sideways glance she peeks at me when I pass her on the streets, the kind of glance that speaks for her closed mouth. _I miss you and I know you miss me too, _look. I had to admit, I was falling. I had to stop it, or at least prolong it.

Getting drunk only seemed to make it worse, forcing myself to stay awake so I couldn't dream about her always ended up with me giving in and promising myself to solve the problem when I awake, and ignoring her was impossible; she was everywhere and nowhere all at once. She was an unrelenting puppy begging me for attention, and I was all too willing to give it to her; I just didn't want to give in to her.

After eighteen years of knowing her, I had never felt anything for her. Quite the opposite, actually; she spent her teen years chasing after my affections, lusting over me as I swiftly ignored her every advancement she made.

Now, after five months after taking on a completely new persona, my resolve was dissolving faster than a spoonful of sugar in a cup of coffee. I had to admit, I missed her fiery spirit in the time I've known both Regina and Roni, but her perfervidness was one of her more admirable traits.

I made a habit of going to the Rabbit Hole more often now, which many people masked their concern over. Of all the places they thought their stone-faced mayor would go, the Rabbit Hole isn't one of them.

Before I even walked in, she straightened her posture and pulled on her most seductive grin she could. It got to me everytime.

"What can I get you, Snow?"

"Just because I granted you entrance to my bed doesn't mean you can call me by my name in public." She rolled her eyes dismissively and turned to another waiting customer. I brushed a tendril of loose hair behind and sat down at our booth. Roni just looked to Molly, winked at her, and rushed out behind from behind the counter to sit with me.

"How was your day," she asked me, before planting a kiss on my cheek. I grinned like an idiot before replying.

"It was fine. How was yours?"

"I punched a drunk man." I tilted my head in interest. My eyes flashed down to take in her purpling knuckles. "All part of the job, I guess."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. He tried swinging, but he couldn't see clearly enough to hit me. It would've been funny to watch, if I wasn't on the receiving end." She chuckled to herself, then she went quiet and stared at her beer bottle, picking the label. She always did that when she was nervous or had nothing to say.

"So, when does your shift end?" Her head snapped up to meet my inquiring eyes. She looked down to her leather wristwatch.

"Ten. I still have another hour, so you don't have to stay."

"I want to." She cocked her head to the side and squinted her eyes, analyzing me. My eyes drifted to the right, then flashed to the left, then back on her questioning brown eyes. Her stare faltered and she stood back up.

"You're acting weird."

"How so?"

"You never stay when my shift goes on for more than ten minutes."

"Maybe I wanted to see you," I said quieter. Her face lit up and she bounced to the bar, flashing me a grin before she turned around and dug in the cabinets for a bottle.

I watched her fly around, pouring drinks and striking up conversations with her regulars. I pulled out my phone after watching her for half an hour, reading emails complaining about the same things they've complained about for the past five and half months.

She rushed to the booth as the clock struck 10:00.

"Hi again," she said coyly. I rolled my eyes.

"Hi again." She laughed and scooted over to me, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me in small pecks.

"So, I wanted to ask you something." She paused and looked down. I pulled her chin back up until her gorgeous brown eyes were looking at me.

"Just tell me."

"What is this," she blurted. "What we're doing."

"Well, what do want it be?"

"Well, I thought we were…dating, sort of. Was I wrong?"

"I don't think you are, but there's one thing we're missing." I let go of her chin and her eyes bulged from her head. If I wasn't enamoured by her, I would've laughed and told her she was pathetic. "We haven't actually had a date yet, dear." She sighed in relief.

"Snow White, are you asking me on a date?"

"Yes, I think I am." She giggled and grinned bigger than I thought possible.

"I would love to." She bit her lip and scrunched her nose. My heart nearly beat out of my chest and left the bar. I couldn't help but smile back. I wished I could take a photo of her, she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

"Great. Are you free tomorrow, six?"

"I am now," she said. She pulled me in for another kiss, much more passionate than before.

"Perfect, I'll pick you up." She nodded. "I'm afraid I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow." She let go of my hand and stood up with me, waving as I climbed into my car.

What was I thinking? I asked my sworn enemy for eighteen years out on a date. I always prided myself in holding grudges, and here I am, sleeping with my own personal Satan.

I picked up my phone and considered cancelling on her, faking my death, anything to get out of it. But then I remembered her biting her lip, scrunching her nose like a bunny, and I dropped my phone back to the seat next to me. Maybe forgiveness _was _in the cards.

I pulled into the rested my forehead on the steering wheel. I banged it against the surface, before putting my head back up and sweeping my hair back. I breathed in, then out, and left my vehicle.

There wasn't enough apple cider in the world to quench my need for release. I needed out, a button that would immediately let me go. Sadly, alcohol was the closest I was willing to get for any sort of release.

I popped the cork off my bottle, and immediately swept the bottle to my lips and chugged as much as I could without air. I didn't have enough time for a glass.

I sat on the stool at my kitchen island, tipping my drink back until it ran dry. I huffed and slammed it back onto the counter in frustration. The Evil Queen living in me had no idea how I let my defences down long enough to allow Regina in. Frankly, I had no idea either.

Then it hit me like a breath of fresh air. I was _tired _of keeping my walls up. I just wanted something other than _hate _flowing through me like it was my own flesh and blood. Nausea rushed over me. I had been so good at keeping my walls around me maintained, that I forgot what it felt like to love and be loved.

I slid off my stool and onto the cooling floor, laying my cheek down and willing my vision to stop spinning. I curled my legs under me and held my knees to chest, hoping my breath would slow down. My life flashed before my closed eyelids.

Mother loving me in complicated ways that I can only assume was how she was taught; just as she taught me, never good at loving or being able to be loved. James being the lantern in my darkened world. Regina snuffing out the light as quickly as it came. Henry making it worse than it was. Rumplestiltskin teaching me how to succumb to the tantalizing power of magic. And my downhill journey from there.

Maybe Regina was worthy of forgiveness. Perhaps I was capable of love. That didn't matter right now, though. I was undeniably drunk, incredibly nauseous, and hoping for sleep to take me now.

* * *

I lifted my head from the floor long enough to register I was still in my kitchen, dressed in my clothes from last night, and still very nauseous.

I myself to sit up and held my arms under me, hoping the dizziness would subside as I woke up more. I stumbled my way to the washroom before I could register what I was doing. I knelt over the toilet and let the apple cider out of my empty stomach. I knelt beside the counter for a moment, then pulled myself up to make breakfast to settle the rest of the alcohol in my empty stomach.

I opened the bread bag and popped a slice of bread in the toaster. I jumped up and sat on the island, while I barely registered my phone ringing in the purse beside me. I grumbled and pulled it out, immediately feeling better at the name on the screen.

"Snow, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, why?" My voice was hoarse and tougher than I would've liked. I could imagine her flinching away from the phone in disgust.

"You don't sound fine, and I've been phoning you nonstop for two hours. Is something wrong?"

"No, I told you I'm fine. Why were you calling me anyway?" I got no answer.

"Take a nap. You sound like you can use it. I'll see you tonight." I heard the phone clock, and the interface showed me how late I slept in.

"Eleven?!" I jumped off the counter and sprinted up the stairs, throwing open my closet and pulling out the first reasonable outfit I saw.

I changed and rushed back down the stairs, lathering my toast in jam and stuffing it into my mouth while I pulled on my jacket.


	8. Risking it All For You

**Please send feedback, and I hope you enjoy! Stay safe, I love you all!**

**Spanish translations are listed at the end! I'm still not super fluent in Spanish, so I apologize for mistakes. **

I was going on a date with Regina. Regina fucking Mills, the ten year-old brat that ruined my life. But maybe she wasn't to blame. Father was always very persuasive and manipulative, so maybe it wasn't her who was at fault for James's death. It was _technically _father, but I blamed her. She had tattled on me, and if it wasn't for her, we'd be wreaking havoc on all the realms, Happy in love. Hell, we might've had children. But we didn't. Instead, the universe had a different plan for me. It made me take the long way around where I felt absolutely hopeless, until that little fairy told me that the woman with the crown bracelet was my soulmate. If I ever meet the snivelling fairy again, I will hug her, then strangle her.

I dabbed a bit of perfume on my neck and wrists, and tousled my hair a bit. I straightened my blazer, put the final touches on my makeup, and shut the lights off in my bathroom. I grabbed my purse from off the bed and slipped on my black pumps. My phone buzzed in my purse, but I ignored it. That was what I usually did nowadays. I didn't torture myself with the prospect of Roni calling me, when it's always just some dissatisfied citizen.

I snatched my keys off the blue porcelain tray on the table near my door and left, locking the door.

I made sure to choose the restaurant, to make absolute sure she wasn't bringing me to Granny's. When I arrived, she was already at a table, waving at me vigorously and grinning. I chuckled to myself before shrugging my coat off. I watched her eyes dance up and down my body, and once she knew that I knew she was peeking, she smirked diffidently and her cheeks slowly burned pink.

"Hi," she said hushed. "You look lovely."

"So do you." I hung my coat over the back of my chair and sat down. A waiter was quick to tend to our table and asked for our orders.

"Wine," I said simply.

"Rum and coke," she answered. The waiter ran off to get the drinks.

"Well, this was a good choice for my first date," I said. Her eyebrows furrowed.

"First date?"

"Yes. My past…lovers have never taken me on a proper date before." She frowned, but didn't press further. Instead, we talked about the bar, the town, and whatever came up. I couldn't very well ask about her family. I already know about her Enchanted Forest parents, and she can't remember them.

"How's Molly?"

"She's good. I think the bar's really starting to grow on her."

"And how's business?"

"It's been really good on weekends, but it's slower during weekdays." The waiter interrupted us with our drinks. I took a large sip of my wine. I asked personal and silly questions, just to hear her dark, silky laugh.

"What's your favourite colour?"

"Black and red."

"What's your favourite band?"

"Red Hot Chili Peppers, Metallica, Guns n' Roses, and The Beatles." She chuckled again, and that made me ask even more questions.

"Do you speak another language," I asked.

"No, we never had language classes in school. Do you?"

"Sí. Soy fluida en español." She laughed.

"What does that mean?"

"Yes. I am fluent in Spanish." She giggled. I never liked to flaunt my Spanish, but I was grateful that father taught me to speak it, even if I didn't use it very often. "I'd like to learn French too."

"Really? I don't even know _two _languages."

"It's a good skill to have," I mentioned. She giggled and leaned forward in her seat.

"I dare you to speak Spanish for the rest of the evening," Roni whispered. I rolled my eyes.

"Must you be so childish?"

"C'mon, please?" Her eyes were lit up in a silent plea, her bottom lip trembled just a bit as it stuck out. I rolled my eyes and smiled.

"Fine. _Only _in the restaurant." She beamed at me and tilted her head to the waiter. "It's your fault if you can't understand me." Her eyes widened comically as the waiter set down our food.

"Gracias, señor. Esto luce delicioso." The waiter nodded and backed away.

"I guess he knows Spanish," Roni said disappointedly.

"Tu no," I said slyly. Roni grinned at me behind a fork of lasagne. "Creo que mi lasaña casera es mejor," I muttered.

"Want does that mean?" I snickered.

"No te gustaría saber." She grumbled.

"Por favor? I'll drop the entire dare, I just want to understand you."

"Hey, you _do _know a lick of Spanish!"

"Yeah my uncle used to say little bits and pieces like that." I chuckled, then actually put some thought behind her statement. She isn't supposed to know her uncle. Is she joking?

"How did you know that," I asked, slightly accusing.

"…Because my uncle said that. Are you okay?" I nodded curtly and ate a spoonful of my dill pickle soup.

"I had fun hearing you speak Spanish," Roni said. I laughed and grinned, but it felt forced. It was.

"Thank you for having dinner with me, I had a splendid time." She smiled.

"I had fun too. I'll call you later?"

"Okay." I leant forward and kissed her roughly, then pulled back and watched her walk to her horrible station wagon, before I walked across the street to my car. My night wasn't over yet, though. I had a certain beast to see.

I swung open the wooden door and heard that horrible little bell I will forever associate with the burden who's had the pleasure of torturing me to no end. I stomped up to the counter, and he limped around the curtain with his cane clacking on the floor.

"Mayor White, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Mr. Gold asked with a little too much enthusiasm to my liking. His good mood already confirmed my suspicions.

"Roni said she remembers her uncle. _Why _is that?"

"Well, I'd say your curse is weakening. Probably even close to breaking, if I'm correct."

"You never answered my question. My curse is supposed to last _twenty eight years. _It's been five and a half months." I didn't bother asking him if he knew about the curse, the devilish glint in his eye betrayed his little act.

"That may have been true, but dear old Robin Hood and Zelena changed course. They never sent the little bundle of joy away. _They. Kept. Her._ Now, the saviour infant is living happily with her mother, slowly breaking the curse."

"I still don't understand how she could _possibly _break the curse. She's a newborn baby. Stuck in the curse forever."

"Not exactly. You see, the light magic from the saviour is more powerful than I could've imagined. All we need now is True Love's kiss, and then we're free from our horrible lives." I growled and slammed my hand down on the glass counter holding the ugliest trinkets I've ever seen.

"How do I stop it," I demanded. He chuckled.

"I'm afraid I can't say, Mayor White."

"What do you want from me," I asked.

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear. I don't need anything right now, so how about you owe me a favour?" I didn't even think when I blurted.

"Deal."

"Excellent. I have a potion that can prolong it for one year. One year only. But, once the potion wears off, the curse breaks, act of true love or not. So, you have a decision ahead of you. Keep the curse for a guaranteed year, or take your chances with the possibility that it can go longer, but there's the chance it could break now." He smirked at me when my face fell.

"Tick tock, dearie. Tick tock. May I remind you, Robin Sr. is now awake from his coma and roaming the streets of Storybrooke. It's only a matter of time before he runs into the single mother."

"I thought magic doesn't work in this realm. How am I supposed to believe the saviour is really breaking the curse, and even if she was, how do I know this potion will work."

"You are correct, but trust me on this. You said Roni mentioned an uncle, so that's a hint. And if Robin Jr. is breaking the curse, then there _is _magic in Storybrooke. This is the only potion that will work here. It was tailored to withstand the curse and how it takes away magic." He turned around and flipped open a painted picture on the wall to reveal a safe. He twisted the knob of the safe many times around before it opened, revealing an array of strange objects and magic relics.

He pulled out a crimson potion and placed it on the counter delicately. I snatched it up and examined it under the light. This potion could be my personal saviour, or my undoing. It was up to me.

"How do I use this?"

"The caster of the curse drinks this." I stormed out of the pawn shop without a second glance behind me.

I put the potion into the cup holder of my car, and nearly laughed at the irony of my past and present mixing in such a strange way. I chuckled once more.

I parked my car in the driveway and rushed inside, potion in hand.

This wasn't just about me. This was easily about Roni's and my relationship. This could give me a year before the disgusting lovebirds confessed their love for each other and rode off into the sunset with their kid in tow. I could explore what Roni means to me, and I could find forgiveness from Roni, before I had to ask it again from Regina.

Before I could reconsider, I popped the cork off the bottle and downed the potion. I cringed at the taste. A red burst of light exploded through the air and throughout the town, and just as it arrived, it was gone. Now to make the most of this year. My last year of freedom before the town will all rally for my head on a spike.

**Translations**

**¡Gracias Señor, esto luce delicioso!= Thank you sir. This looks delicious!**

**Tu no= you don't**

**Creo que mi lasaña casera es mejor= I think my homemade lasagna is better**

**No te gustaría saber= wouldn't you like to know**

**Por favor= please**

**Don't worry, I'm not planning on doing anything else in Spanish. **


	9. Catch Me, Because I’m Falling

**Please send feedback, stay safe, and I hope you enjoy! **

I wasn't taking any chances with Roni. I hid nearly everything from her, for good reason. My secret meetings with Gold, my visits to my vault, it could all be traced back, and she could figure it out, something could trigger her memories, and I'd be in an insurmountable amount of trouble. She doesn't suspect anything, and I don't even give her reason to. I just don't want her to find out. If she found out, the curse I dedicated my blood, sweat, tears to. I killed my _mother _for this curse, and the fact that my entire fresh-start-that-I-was-supposed-to-have-for-a-very-long-time will be gone in three hundred and thirty five days.

After those three hundred and thirty five days, I will lose Regina, the cricket will be proven right, and I will have nothing. Again. I fought hard for all of this, and people who work hard at something deserve it. So why don't I deserve it? I was the victim of Regina's ignorance, wasn't I?

We had date nights every Friday, and stayed in all day Saturday, and she visits me every Tuesday at my office for lunch. I kind of liked her presence now. I no longer gagged at the sweetness of her voice, or the strange way her lips tasted like cherries, even in the mornings. Her smiles didn't _look _like they were evil, but you could never be sure. I've been complemented for my scary, evil grin, but that doesn't mean a small smile can't be as evil.

I knew what I wanted. Her. A happy ending. To be deserving of love. I may have made a huge mistake in all of this, but this gave me a chance with Regina, and with Roni. I'll take as much time as I'm given.

I had my doubts about this, like I do everything. She could tell I was hesitant about this; about her, but I wasn't. I've had many more women before Regina.

Tonight, Roni invited me for a date outside a restaurant. I felt a weird twisting in my belly when she asked if I had a pair of skates. Thankfully, the curse supplied me with a garage full of junk, and I believe that includes skates. I told her I did, but Ihad never gone skating before. She chuckled and told me not to worry, that she would help me. I really doubted it.

I felt hesitant when she offered to pick me up, but I didn't know where she was taking us. She might've found a lake to skate at, or she might just want to murder me and dump me in a pit full of snow. I may or may not deserve it, depends on the jury.

I heard her car pull up and the car door slam shut. I paced in the hall with the pair of skates dangling near the floor. My other hand combed through my hair, and closed my eyes for a moment. I've ridden horses before, skating can't be worse than being thrown from your horse.

I heard her knocking on the door, and she didn't even finish before I pulled it open quickly. She nearly hit me on the head with her fist, but I was impatient. And a bit terrified. She could surely see it when she cupped my cheek and planted a kiss on the other.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi."

"Ready?" She asked delicately, like a feather tickling my eardrums. I smiled automatically.

"Yes." I took her hand and kissed each of her knuckles, before pulling her to the god-awful light blue car she owned.

"Come on, you love the car," she said.

"Definitely not," I said, chuckling. "That is the eyesore of the century."

"Not me," she asked jokingly. I shook my head quickly.

"That's an even more definite no." I smiled at her. "The fairest of them all." She blushed, and I almost laughed at the irony of my bad joke. She opened the car door for me and made a show of bowing for me, and I realized that I got what I always wanted in my old life. For Regina Mills to bow in front of me and submit to my power. I did that without magic; even if she doesn't know I'm an all-powerful queen, who also wanted her heart. The fine print didn't matter.

She shut the door and walked around to her side. She pulled out of the driveway and drove around, through streets and past houses.

She stopped at a skating rink in a park, lit by a few large lights looming over the school's soccer field.

"Really," I asked. "The school rink?"

"This is the only rink in town," she said. She sounded scared. I didn't blame her.

"I'm sorry, it was just a little anticlimactic." She nodded and looked a little crestfallen. I hurried out of the car with my skates and quickly kissed the slight pout off her delicate lips. "I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to sound disappointed. I'm not." She nodded and flashed me a smile, but I could tell it was fake. That's the smile she flashed at the filthy monarchs trying to find their way under her skirts at balls. I always let them, and I didn't think there was a problem with that. Now I want to slit their throats even more than I did before.

I followed Roni to the shack beside the rink, with benches lining the inside walls. She sat down and pulled off her boots, and I did the same. I watched her hands swiftly loop the laces through the holes on the outside, and I slowly did mine.

"These are the corsets for feet," I muttered under my breath.

"Pardon me?"

"I said how do you tie those laces so quickly," I lied.

"I did figure skating when I was younger," she said nonchalantly. I felt the opposite. Once I had my skates on, Roni was pulling me off the bench by the hand.

"Can you let me make a call first," I asked.

"Sure. Call me when you're done, and I can help you onto the ice." I scoffed.

"I don't need help _walking. _I'll be fine by myself."

"Suit yourself," she said,"I'll see you out there." I nodded and watched her close the door. The wood floorboards outside the shed creaked, until I heard the blades of her skates cutting into the ice. I whipped out my phone and angrily dialled.

"What can I do for you, Mayor White?"

"Why does Roni _still _have memories? I drank your damn potion, what else do I have to do around here?"

"Oh my, I must've forgotten to tell you. Now that you drank the potion, there _is _a…side effect to it."

"So I don't need to worry?"

"Calm down, dearie, it won't effect anything. Your faithful citizens will just have a full memory of their cursed-selves until the curse breaks."

"No harm done?" I asked skeptically.

"No harm done." I groaned and hung up the phone. I nestled it back in my jacket pocket and stood up off the bench. Once I knew I had my balance, I began to walk, only to fall on my knees. I pulled myself back up and clung onto the doorknob. I pulled the door open and inched my way to the skating rink. I stood at the edge of the wooden boards, where the wood met ice, and held onto the side as I forced one foot onto the ice, then the other.

Roni was quick to come over, and caught me before I could fall.

"Easy, tiger. I told you, you're gonna want my help." I nodded, breathless, and dug my nails into her layered arms. She carefully led me to the middle of the rink, but I was being dragged and was almost lying face flat on the ice.

"Okay, now let go of my hand, and stand up straight." I loosened my grip on her jacket and straightened out, like I was readying for father's brutal punishment. She smiled as I stood fully straight, though a bit wobbly in the knees. She applauded like I was one of her students who read a chapter book on my own.

I rolled my eyes jokingly and took a hesitant step. When I didn't fall, I took another, and another, and _then _my legs slipped out from under me. I heard Roni skate towards me once again.

"You good," she asked.

"Does it _look _like I'm good? This is stupid, I want to leave."

"We just started! Here, I think I can help." I didn't get up from the ice, and she made no moves in helping me. Instead, she went back inside the shack, and came out with an old chair.

"You want me to sit in the middle of the ice?" I asked snarkily.

"No, I want you to push it around." I scoffed.

"How is this going to help?"

"Just trust me, okay?" I rolled my eyes and sighed loudly, but when she brought the chair to me, I held onto the seat and scrambled up until I was standing. "Stand behind the back of the chair and start walking." I sighed again and took a few steps. When I knew I wasn't going to fall, I went faster. "Now, try not to walk. Just glide."

I laughed dryly and made an effort to shuffle my feet like she did.

"That's great, you're doing amazing," she praised.

"Ha ha ha. When can I get rid of the chair?"

"When you can balance without it." I slid the chair across the ice, until it was a few feet away from me. I carefully went through the motions I did when I had my chair and easily made it across the ice back to it.

"Now that you're a pro, wanna skate with me," she asked coyly. I rolled my eyes mockingly and held out a hand. "No way, tiger, you're coming to me." I chuckled.

"Tiger? Really?"

"What, it has a ring to it. Plus, you're fiesty, dangerous, and probably killed people before." I giggled.

"You got me." I skated towards her, but she suddenly started going backwards. "Hey, come back!" She didn't listen, and skated around in a circle, until she did a large leap, followed by a graceful twirl in the middle of the ice. I clapped and cheered, and held up ten fingers, like a judge.

"Perfect ten," I said.

"I wouldn't settle for anything less," she replied, grinning. I laughed and rolled my eyes as she skated towards me and took my hand in hers. She held my hand as we went around the rink in circles for a while, until I felt her hands grow colder and her breath more laboured.

"We should get going. My feet are sore, and you're freezing," I told her.

"No I'm not."

"I can hear your teeth chattering, now let's go." She grumbled and sighed.

"Fine, but I'm taking you skating another time," she promised.

"I wouldn't settle for anything less," I mirrored. She chuckled and kissed me slowly and deeply, under the glowing halo of the moon.


	10. What Have You Done To Me?

**Please send feedback, stay safe, stay inside, and I hope you enjoy! I'm not sure how much longer I can write for this fanfiction, but I'm predicting 2-4 chapters, who knows, it all depends on what more I want to/can add. Also, I'm keeping it short and simple in case someone doesn't think so, this is not rape, Roni is capable of consenting, bla bla bla. **

Ten Months Later…

I had one more month with Roni before my earth shattered. One month until the entire town turns against me and lines up for my head to decorate their fireplace mantles. Roni could tell something was wrong by the way I tried convincing her to stay home with me instead of working, and told her I loved her profusely, or barely let her go long enough to make dinner for the both of us.

I neglected quite a bit of our time together throughout the months, but she ended up doing the impossible; she made the Evil Queen love again. She deserved more than someone as horrible as me, and everyone in town was ready to take drastic measures in order to rid the universe of my destructive presence, so I had my car stocked with a suitcase of clothes, toiletries, and a plane ticket to Athens. All my problems can't follow me to Europe, and I've done enough research to know Athens is pretty enough to live there.

Roni was acting a little strange today, like she was nervous, but also wanted to spill whatever she's keeping from me. I don't think Roni's been to her own apartment in months, other than to bring clothes to my house, but I was the one that convinced her to stay. I've been in love once, but I was never this clingy with James. Roni wasn't just a girlfriend now; she was quite literally my survival.

Every time I passed Mr. Gold in the street, he smirked at me knowingly and tapped at his wristwatch. If I wasn't in public, I would've brought that cane down onto his miserable, greasy-haired head. He knew I had to spend my time wisely, and so did I.

We were eating dinner when Roni started shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"Are you alright?" I asked her. She shrugged. "Do you wanna tell me what's bothering you?"

"Why are you leaving me," Roni asked, voice cracking and tears nearly spilling from her eyes.

"Oh no, why would you think I'm leaving you?"

"I saw your s-suitcase in your car with a plane ticket."

"I'm never going to leave you."

"Then why do you have a suitcase packed?"

"Because…I'm in deep trouble and I'm afraid you'll leave me," I said honestly. She pursued her lips and immediately came around the table to hug me.

"I would never do that. I love you _so much,_ I don't think I'd ever leave you."

"Even if you found out about the things I did?" She pulled back and held my shoulders as she shakily asked,"what did you do?"

"It's nothing, can we just eat dinner please?"

"As long as you promise me that this isn't something I should be worried about."

"I promise," I lied. She nodded and walked back around the table to eat her dinner. Tomorrow, I'll hide the suitcase under the back seat, maybe put a square of black cardboard to cover it up.

* * *

A week later, Roni was working late at the bar, so I had time to write her a final letter to say goodbye. For the first hour, I stared at the blank sheet of paper trying to dig through my brain to find something to say. I didn't think of what I should write, I just did.

I explained to her that our time together was anything but fake, that both her and that intolerable bug were right about me, and that I wouldn't ever forget her. The letter was pages long, and I included the key to my vault, in case she needed somewhere to hide in case people start to harass her for associating with me. At this point, I didn't blame them; I deserved it, and I can guarantee I've got a special place in the deepest depths of hell. Roni still has a chance at finding happiness, I might as well give it to her without any influence from myself.

Roni came home just when I was sealing the envelope and looking for a place to hide the envelope. I settled on taping it behind the headboard. I rushed down the stairs and nearly tackled her to the ground in my eagerness to cling onto her. I didn't want to leave her behind, but she'll realize that I'm not her happiness. That still didn't mean she isn't mine. Writing that letter made me realize how hard it would be to let her go.

"Are you okay," she asked worriedly.

"I'm lonely," I muttered into tufts of her hair. She giggled and rubbed my back, murmuring things into my ear. She pulled me into the living room and sat down on the couch with me. She didn't say anything, just rubbed my hands and subtly shuffled closer to me. We stayed sat like that for a little while before Roni loudly proclaimed she was hungry. I chuckled and went into the kitchen to find something to eat as well.

I came back to the living room with a peeled orange, and Roni was carrying a bowl of chips for her snack.

"You eat too much," I told her.

"You eat too little," she said back. I chuckled and silently agreed with her, while I nuzzled against her.

"You must've been really lonely," Roni remarked jokingly.

"I was," I told her seriously. "I had another bad day."

"Another one?" I nodded and scrunched my nose in thought.

"Come here, then."

"I'm already here," I chuckled.

"Oh right, I guess so." I smiled and relaxed my head against her. My limbs got heavy and my eyes were just starting to close when Roni's arms wrapped around me and lifted me from the couch.

"Hey, I can walk myself," I told her informatively.

"But you're so fun to carry," she whined. I rolled my eyes and smiled as she carefully ascended the stairs and into our bedroom, setting me down onto the bed. My eyes were fully closed now and I was humming to myself as I heard her walk away and I guessed she was changing, before she left the room and went into the bathroom to brush her teeth. I fell asleep before I could imagine doing that. My bad days always made me tired.

I woke up right when Roni was opening the door to our room with a tray of breakfast. I blinked my sleepy haze away from my vision and focused on her grinning face.

"Morning, beautiful," she murmured, before setting the tray down on the end of the bed. I scooted up the bed so my back was resting against the headboard and reached forward for the tray at my feet.

"You didn't have to do that," I said gently.

"But I wanted to," she answered. I smiled and slightly bit my lip.

"Thank you," I uttered, before spearing a piece of waffle. I don't think I could ever let her go, I thought, but it had to be done. If her happiness is most important to me, then I'll make her happy. But was it so selfish to want to be happy too?

* * *

I burst through Mr. Gold's doors and strode to the counter, where he was raising his eyebrows at me skeptically.

"I need a way to reverse the spell," I told him. He chuckled and scoffed.

"You can't undo it, dearie. You cast it, and now there's nothing you can do to stop it, especially with two weeks left." I rolled my eyes.

"There's always a way with you, Gold, now what's your price?"

"I'm afraid that not even a deal will make what you want possible." I grumbled and glared at him.

"Then I'll have to find a way myself."

"Good luck with that," he chuckled,"I'm afraid even your spellbooks won't have an answer."

"Then I will find one of it's the last thing I do." I stomped back out the door and to my car waiting outside. I angrily turned my key and drove off to the cemetery, where my mother's crypt sat.

I parked my car at the curb and reached behind me to find the umbrella I had in the back. It started raining a few minutes ago, and it seems like a large storm. I opened my door, opened my umbrella, and climbed out of my car into the freezing air and even colder rain.

I found my way inside the crypt and put all my weight into pushing her grave to the side so I could get into the vault. I descended the stairs and narrowly avoided kicking a mouse scurrying across my path. I didn't mind the rodents, as long as they weren't rats.

I dusted off every single chest, shelf, and secret compartment where I could find my spells. I pulled out the books that could be of use to me, which weren't much. A small stack of spellbooks and a strange 'guide to magic' book I don't remember seeing before.

I skimmed each page and couldn't even find the spell Gold used, let alone the way to reverse it. I accepted defeat after two hours and pulled out the umbrella I brought.

I pushed the grave back into place in time for Roni to emerge through the doors and furrow her brows in curiosity.

"I was visiting my mother," I told her.

"Another bad day?" She asked.

"You could say that."

"Y'know, I don't think you've ver told me about your mother before."

"Oh. What do you want to know about her?"

"How close were you," she asked.

"Very. Much closer than my father."

"Why?"

"It's…complicated," I muttered. I led her outside the crypt and made space for her under my umbrella so we could walk together. "How did you find me here anyway?"

"I was driving home and I saw your Mercedes," she said. I chuckled and pecked her on the cheek. She smiled back at me, and that look she gave me alone would've been enough to make me stay, if it wasn't for her.

**Sorry for such a short chapter, but I promise the next one will be longer ;)**


	11. High Pain Tolerance

**Please send feedback, stay safe, take care of yourself, and I hope you enjoy! **

Roni has a day off. I was thankful. I had thirteen hours left to say goodbye to her, without saying anything about goodbyes. The less she knows, the easier it will be.

The day went as it always did. I gave Roni attention when she asked for it, and Roni gave me attention when _I _asked for it. Mr. Gold gave me a visit, gloating that I would lose everything I owned in less than a day, righ when Roni was in the next room. I repeatedly had to shush him, but he left immediately after.

"Who was that?"

"Just Mr. Gold looking for something," I told her. I plopped back down beside her on the couch and picked up my book. Roni was reading a book so confusing she struggled desrcibing, while was reading a biography of Marilyn Monroe. I told her the books she reads were obscure and complicated, while she insisted that mine we're boring and plain. We agreed to disagree.

We were on the couch for a while, before I wanted to make supper. For 'Our Last Supper,' I wanted to make Lasagna, homemade garlic buns, and apple turnovers. Roni never really liked apples, for good reason, but she said she hadn't liked them for a long time. I convinced her to try my apple-stuffed pastries, and she admitted that she liked apples now. I was glad I could change her mind, and hoped it would be the same with her opinion on me once the curse broke. Before I left tonight, I wanted to apologize to Regina and say that I was sorry.

Roni tried to stop me from making dinner, but I told her I wanted to. She sighed and hopped onto the counter and read there, instead of the couch or the stools at the kitchen island.

"What are you doing?" I asked her.

"Reading in the company of my girlfriend?" She answered questioningly.

"You're the human embodiment of a dog," I told her, pecking her cheek as I glided by her to find the red pepper flakes.

"I know," she said smugly. I chuckled as I sprinkled the spices on top of the layer of unmelted cheese. I slid the lasagna into the oven under the baking garlic buns and pulled open cupboards to find my bag of flour.

Once the lasagna and garlic bread was out of the oven and cooled off, I put the turnovers in the oven and set a timer on the tiny kitchen timer. We both brought the dishes into the dining room and served up our plates.

"This is amazing," Roni half-moaned. I chuckled and blushed as I ducked my head. In the middle of dinner, the timer rang out from the kitchen. I stood up to get the timer and pull out the turnovers, then I went back to the table to finish eating.

We finished dinner and ate an apple turnover each before retiring to the living room. We kept reading, we talked some, and I asked about Roni's plan for tomorrow.

"Well, I'm going to the bar early tomorrow morning, then I'll come home at four, then I was hoping we could go to Granny's for supper, and then come back here."

"That sounds perfect." If only the scene would play out tomorrow. Speaking of tomorrow, time flew faster than I expected; it was nearly eleven thirty. "I have something for you."

"Okay," Roni responded happily. I ran upstairs and to our bedroom, where I fumbled for the envelope at the back of the headboard. I ran back downstairs and handed it to her.

"Don't open it yet. Open it at midnight exactly."

"Snow, what's going on?"

"I'm not who I say I am. It's hard to explain, but I need you to know something; I would do anything to make you happy. That's why I have to leave. You have to promise you won't open the envelope until it's midnight, okay? I don't ever want to leave you, but I'm not wanted here and you need to be happy. You'll soon realize it's without me."

"Snow, wait. We can fix this, I will help you through whatever trouble you found yourself in."

"No you won't."

"Don't leave me," Roni begged. "Please." Tears sprung to my eyes.

"I have to. I love you." I ran to my car outside and I pulled out of the driveway before Roni could follow me. I drove through town, saying my goodbyes to Main Street, to Granny's, to the Town Hall and my apple tree, and Mother's crypt, before crossing the town line forever. I looked in my rear view mirror to see the retreating trees where Roni would be. Nearly Regina, in ten minutes.

I wondered if she was trying to follow me out of town. If she did, I hope she didn't try to cross the town line.

The drive to Boston was four hours, but I slept in this morning with the intention that I would be up very late at night. I had my suitcase in the back, a travel mug of iced coffee, and a new phone in my suitcase so Roni had no way of contacting me.

I stopped at a rest stop still an hour from Boston so I could use the restroom, set up my phone, and take a break from driving. I had fourteen messages from Roni, Regina now, on my voicemail. I deleted them all and erased all my information on my phone, before tossing it into the nearest garbage can. I didn't have enough time to set up my phone, my flight was leaving in two hours, and it would take far too long to set it up here wi5 horrible Wifi.

I climbed back into my car and drove off. Once I got to Greece, first on my to-do list was get a new phone number. Then actually find a place to live. I booked a hotel in Athens, but other than that, my savings, and my plane ticket, I had nothing else.

I wasn't sure if I was going to stay in Athens or not. If I liked it, I would immigrate there. If I didn't, I would travel around to find my favourite place. This wasn't like me. This isn't something I would do, but I did. I packed everything and ran from my problems so I could make Regina happy. A year and five months ago, I was trying to take her happiness and find my own. Now? I ran so she could be happy. If that isn't growth, I don't know what is.

I parked my car at the airport and towed my suitcase behind me, forcing my tired body to move. I still had a half hour left before my flight boarded, so I found a coffee stand that sold hot coffee and, because I deserved it, an apple pie pastry.

I sat on the benches outside the gate and set up the new phone, balancing my apple pie on my knee.

What was Roni doing? Was she still looking for me? Is she rallying up the townspeople, or calming them down? Did she even read my letter? I hope she did. She'll need the keys to the vault if everyone _does _decide to bombard her.

I finished off my pie just as my flight was announced over the intercom to begin boarding. I threw my garbage in a nearby trash bin and paced in front of the benches. _I didn't have to do this. I could easily tear my ticket in half and find Regina. I could be happy with her. But what about her? Does she still love me? _There were so many questions I had about her, but those all didn't matter anymore. I tightened my hold on my black suitcase and wheeled it to the flight attendant at the door collecting tickets.

Once I was past security and walking through the glass tunnel towards the plane, I looked back at what I was leaving behind. Somewhere, four hours away, Regina was either searching for me or going about her day as usual. A small town was missing it's mayor, and a kingdom of people were without an Evil Queen to rule them. That didn't matter anymore. Regina was the rightful heir to the throne anyway. I think I told her to rule my—now her—kingdom better than I ever could, but I'm so tired, I can't remember if I greeted her as 'Roni' or 'Regina' in the letter.

There weren't very many people on a flight this early. Just an old man, a young couple, and a middle aged man wearing an expensive suit. A few more people boarded, but not even half the plane was full.

While the flight attendant listed off the security procedures, I slipped my earbuds in and started up a podcast. Roni showed them to me a little while ago and I've grown fond of this one podcast that Chelsea Peretti hosts. Luckily, nobody was sitting next to me, so if the situation presented itself, I was free to pull out a book and allow myself to shed a tear behind the pages before sucking it up and building my walls twice as high as they were before.

I slept most of my flight, and when I wasn't sleeping, I was reading and listening to the podcasts I have on my phone. Once the plane landed, I realized how lonely this was. I was considering moving to a country where I knew nobody, didn't speak the native language, and didn't even have a clue what I was doing.

It wasn't hard to call a taxi with the amount of people here, but taxis were rarely available in the early evening. I hopped in a cab and told the driver the name of the hotel I booked in poor pronunciation, even after googling it. He drove me to the hotel and dropped me off outside the doors. I went inside and quickly checked in with a bilingual hotel clerk.

The room I booked was spacious, but not enough to make me feel lonely. I dug a mini bottle of liquor out of the mini-fridge and sat down on the bed, gulping it down in one sip. I fell asleep with the empty glass still touching my lips.

I decided that because this was my new life, I would go out and sightsee instead. I spent my morning in bed googling places to visit in Athens, so I decided that today, I would go easy and visit a nice village near the Acropolis. I heard they had good stands of jewelry, and I left all mine at home. A Queen needs her jewelry, I though. A Queen also needs her Bandit.


	12. Everything Screams No

**Please send feedback, stay safe, and I hope you enjoy! Happy Pride Month to my LGBTQ family! I also haven't been to Greece, so I hope it's accurate, but this was based on research and my Greek study project in sixth grade. There's probably a few mistakes, but it's 1:33 AM and I'm tired. **

My body was glued to the soft hotel mattress. I was awake for hours, and yet I couldn't will my eyes to stray from the ceiling, staring at it like it was Regina herself. I could imagine her hugging Tink until she couldn't breath and directing everyone everywhere.

I still wondered what she was doing, if she hated me, if she suddenly loved Robin again as soon as I left, I would be happy if she thought about me at least once. That's all I wanted from her, even if I don't deserve it in this lifetime or the next. I can see what mother was talking about when she always said I was selfish. Roni told me I was being stupid, but if I was stupid, I would be in Storybrooke.

Instead, I was here in a four-star hotel drowning in silk sheets and self-hatred, only one of which was bearable.

I decided to get out of bed once the room was completely lit with sunshine through the nearly-transparent curtains. The room was muggy and made my head spin, but it's my fault for not turning on the air conditioning; I was too tired to turn it on when I got to my room yesterday. In fact, I was too tired to strip out of my clothes, so I'm standing in the middle of the room still wearing a pantsuit. I wen to the bathroom to brush my teeth and comb through my hair before straightening my ruffled pantsuit to go downstairs for breakfast.

I didn't read up on anything in Greece, but a part of me was expecting exotic foods to be served. Instead, waves of familiarity washed over me and I grabbed a muffin, a yogurt, and an orange. I sat at a table by myself facing the window with my plate of breakfast and watched the small gusts of wind rustle leaves on the potted plants outside.

I made a plan inside my head on what I would do today. I _wanted _to stay in bed all day, maybe do a bit of reading, and sulk in the dark while I drink something with a large amount of alcohol. But for my own well-being, I made a list in my head; I would visit the Plaka, and look through the shops, then I'd go to the hotel pool, and to finish it off, I googled a nearby bar I could go to and drown my sorrows in vodka until I abruptly move on from Regina and find a hookup.

I never should've loved her. I never should have even tried to manipulate her, because she unknowingly does it right back. I should've learned from James but I can't do that either, it seems. Just when I thought that Regina was right about forgiveness, I lose her again, all because Rumplestiltskin tricked me into casting that spell.

I was on the right track. The best way to get over Regina was with one-night stands and foggy hangovers. _Because _that _worked out so well the first time. _She brushed her observations aside and barely finished off her muffin before she felt nauseous and placed the rest of her breakfast back in a fruit bowl and spinning rack of yogurt.

I contemplated calling a taxi, but it was too hot to be stuck in a hot car and decided to walk instead. The Plaka wasn't very crowded, but I had to squeeze by a few people to see the stands. I found a pair of earrings with a metal frame holding a pearl in the centre. Regina always used to wear white, especially pearls.

I handed over a wad of cash to the tender of the stand and he placed the earrings in a velvet box and handed them to me. I put the earrings in my pocket and wove my way through the rest of the market. I found a stand selling gyros and bought one as I continued on through the stalls. The tzatziki sauce was dripping on my hands, but I was never going to leave Greece if this was the food they're serving here.

I found a wood bench near the stalls and sat down, feeling around in my pocket for the earring box. From my seat on the bench, I could see the Parthenon, as well as many buildings at the bottom of the hill. I finished off my gyro and got up to look around.

I took pictures of my view of the Acropolis, far away buildings, and the areas in the Plaka that were too pretty to ignore. It was like a small village, with it's thin cobblestone paths and tightly-packed houses.

By the time I arrived back at the hotel, the pool was closed and it was too late to take a dip in the pool. I grumbled to myself about being an idiotic tourist and changed into a light sundress. The temperature had risen at the end of the evening and it didn't show any signs of getting cooler. I brushed down my hair again since the humidity made it curly and reapplied my makeup. Once I was looking decent, I grabbed my purse and left the hotel room.

It wasn't too far a walk from my hotel, but by the time I got there, the seats were packed. The only seat available was a table on the edge of the room. Loud music played through speakers in the corners of the room and people danced around the room, nearly spilling their drinks.

A waitress came around to my table and I ordered a Cabernet Sauvignon with a request for a basket of almonds. I noticed quite a few couples around the room dancing and laughing, talking, and even a couple emerging from the back hallway near the bathrooms with tousled hair and grins painting their faces. They looked sickly happy and I wanted to punch something. Or, from the looks of it, I didn't have to punch something.

A guy was waving me over to the bar where an empty seat sat beside him. He was decent-looking and he clearly took an interest in me, so I waited for my wine and basket of almonds to arrive before getting up and sitting next to him.

"Hi," he greeted, smirking at me.

"You speak english?"

"I do. So do you." I smiled and talked with him, while an insistent tugging at my insides nearly made me hunch over in pain. I wish Regina never made such a mark on my life. I've only dated her for a year and a little bit, she shouldn't be able to give me stomachaches when I'm talking to a guy in another country. I ignored everything my body told me and continued to talk with him.

"I'm Snow," I said, offering him my hand.

"Elijah," he said, taking my hand and shaking it firmly.

————————————————— 

I think I drank too much last night. I barely remembered where I was, only that I talked with a guy named Elijah and my wine trickled into scotch, then vodka as the nigh bore on. I slowly opened my eyes and let them adjust to the blurring lights from the room. The room that wasn't mine.

My eyes finally stopped blurring as the room came into much greater detail. Clothes were on the floor, all mine, but this wasn't my hotel room. The room was decorated with a bookshelf, a guitar case, and trinkets dotted along the tops of dressers and the nightstand.

The next thing that came to me was the sizzling from outside the room. The door was open and the smell of eggs cooking wafted through the room, instantly making me nauseous. After I registered the sounds, sights, and smells of my surroundings, the headache hit me like a jet plane aimed at me, nearly sending me back down to the pillows and groaning in agony.

I cradled my head in my hand, now realizing how curly and mussed my hair was. I didn't want to kook in the mirror, only pull on my clothes and leave. I pulled a layer of sheets off the bed and wrapped it around my body, whilst bending over and looking for my clothes.

I was looking under the bed for my bra when Elijah sauntered back into the room.

"Hi," he said smugly. I didn't respond and continued searching under the bed. "Your shirt and bra are out in the living room." I smiled at him gratefully and swept past him to the living room, where my garments were spread out on the couch. I rushed back to the room to get dressed while he went back to the stove to cook his eggs.

"Hey, do you like your eggs scrambled or fried?"

"I don't like eggs," I called back to him.

"I can make you something else," he offered.

"Actually, I think I'm just gonna go back to my hotel, but thank you."

"Are you sure?"

"If I wasn't, I wouldn't tell you I was leaving." He went quiet and kept cooking while I dug around my purse to make sure he didn't rob me while I was asleep. Once I had everything, I rushed out the door without giving him a goodbye. I didn't care if I hurt him at this point, he should've known what I'm capable of before sleeping with me.

The sun was much brighter than I expected, and the heat even more so. I pulled out my sunglasses from my purse and slipped them on, nearly stumbling off the sidewalk and onto the road. I straightened my steps and tried not to act hungover, which is difficult when some tiny person inside your head is banging a hammer over the inside of your temples.

My stomach grumbled loudly and demanded food from me, so I found a cafe and grabbed a coffee and a bagel before bumbling around Athens looking for my hotel. I eventually gave up looking for it myself and pulled out my phone, punching in the hotel name, hoping it could tell me where to go. A blue line traced the way back to my hotel, which was fifteen minutes away by car.

I called a taxi and waited at the corner, sipping my scalding coffee as I scrolled through my phone. An array of emails addressed from Regina were in my inbox, tempting me. My impulse control won as I deleted them all.

Once that was done, my taxi arrived and asked where to go. I gave him the name and address of the hotel as he started driving off.

My head was feeling heavy once the taxi arrived at the front of the hotel. I gave him my cash and hopped out of the vehicle, instantly regretting it as soon as my headache tripled in intensity. A headache in the form of Regina with a suitcase clutched in her hands.


	13. I’m Fine

**I updated this a few days ago, but I couldn't wait: this is the final chapter to Find Me Somebody To Love! I'm so thankful for all the support and reviews, you all help me so much. I hope I did them both justice and I hope you enjoyed! I seem to find myself with too much time on your hands, so now's the time to PM me with any requests! I hope you enjoyed the final chapter to this fic! Love you all! **

I was stunned into silence as Regina sauntered over to me angrily, suitcase towing behind her.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" She demanded. I knew I deserved that, but I didn't think I deserved the slap in the face. "Please enlighten me why you thought you had to move to fucking _Greece." _I held my cheek as it began stinging and rolled my eyes.

"Nice to see you too," I grumbled. "What are you doing here, how did you find me, and you need to leave."

"I'm here because you left me with a goodbye note and a key to your magic basement under your daddy's grave and I would like to know what I did wrong to deserve that, I found you by looking around every hotel in Athens asking for you, and the hotel concierges were willing to give me information when I said you were missing and I was your wife, and I'm not leaving. I'm staying right here. Can I come into your hotel room?"

"No. We're talking here."

"You're willing to have a private conversation about the Enchanted Forest in public? Not sure how the citizens of Athens are going to react when the Evil Queen and Regina Mills, fairytale characters, mind you, fight about their relationship." I sighed and rubbed my temples instead of my cheek, before heading for the hotel doors. When Regina didn't move, I turned around sharply.

"Are you coming or not?" She flinched slightly, but followed my biting words up to the top floor of the hotel. I unlocked the door to my room and held it open for her as she gaped at the large room.

"You're staying here? Alone?" Almost all of her previous anger seemed to have washed away.

"I've saved up quite a bit of money, why not indulge a bit?"

"Because this room is too big for someone staying alone." I glared pointedly at the back of Regina's head until she turned and let me glare at her face instead. "Sorry." I led her over to the couch, but sat on the armchair across from her. She fidgeted in her seat, making the seat cushion squeak slightly and the silence more strange and uncomfortable.

"Would you like a drink?" I asked her. She shook her head and looked up from her hands.

"Why did you leave? Did you regret it? Is that why you left?" She asked bluntly. I paused and thought over my answer. It wouldn't hurt me to tell her the truth, so I took a deep breath and prepared the words to leave my mouth.

"I didn't regret it at all."

"Then why?"

"Because I thought you didn't want me after the curse ended, because of everything I did to you."

"Have you forgotten what I said before the curse swept us away? When you said you were getting your happy ending?"

"No," I said sheepishly. Regina chuckled and put her hand over mine.

"You said you would've never forgiven me. I told you that anyone could forgive me, just like I forgave you." I frowned slightly.

"What are you implying?"

"How thick-skulled are you?" She asked incredulously. "I've long forgiven you for your misdeeds, no matter how drastic an action you took against me. I never forgot who you were to me when you saved me and I never will. You changed since you cast that curse. You moved away from me because you didn't think I deserved you! That's change in of itself. Just because I know who you are, doesn't change the fact that I'm completely in love with you, Snow White."

I didn't believe what she was saying. This had to have been Gold playing the part of forgiving, heartbroken lover in the hopes of, what? Getting me to return to Storybrooke? Blackmail me into helping him find Belle or whoever it is he said he was looking for? I refused to believe her so easily.

"Why did you forgive me?" I asked her skeptically. She didn't even have to think about her answer.

"The same reason you forgave me. I was tired of running from you and I wanted the woman who saved me from that horse back. I guess I was just lucky you reciprocated my feelings."

"I didn't." Regina tilted her head.

"What do you mean?"

"I only ever kissed you because I wanted power. I was going to manipulate you and make you miserable."

"Then why wasn't I miserable?."

"Because you made me love you." Regina's eyes widened significantly.

"You love me?"

"Why is that so surprising to you? I've said it a few times before the curse broke."

"But I just thought...you didn't love me anymore once the curse broke. I thought that was also why you left."

"I left because I love you _too _much, Regina. Don't you know that?" She smiled at me understandingly, every inch of her gorgeous face radiating kindness. If I looked harder, I would find love. But if I looked harder, that meant that I was willingly letting myself get hurt. If I wasn't careful, history would repeat itself and I would lose Regina again, some way or the other. I had to be careful, especially when Regina was so tempting; if nothing was stopping me, I would pounce her immediately, tell her I loved her, and continue to ravish her endlessly. "Do you still love Robin?"

"No," she said immediately. "How long do I have to tell you that I love you before you believe it." I took a big leap.

"I don't wanna lose you like I lost James," I whispered. I couldn't take the space between us anymore, painful self-protection be damned. I gave up and let my impulses have control over me for once. I rushed around the coffee table sitting between us and sat down on the couch as simply as I could, before cupping Regina's cheeks and brushing her jaw with my thumb. She smiled before slowly leaning forward. I met her lips in the middle and moved them gently against hers, the cold, dark feeling I've had since I decided to leave slowly shrinking to nothing. I pulled back and she cupped her hand around my neck, bringing my forehead to meet hers.

"Come home with me," she whispered. I shook my head.

"I wanna stay here longer. I don't want to face the town yet and just...think things over." She looked at me with sly, chocolate-y eyes and smirked. She kissed a line across my forehead.

"Come home with me." She brushed her nose against the side of my face and kissed my right cheek. "Come home with me," she repeated. She moved down still and kissed my chin. She moved up, brushing her nose against my skin on her way to the bridge of my nose. "Come home." She kissed the tip of my nose, then my eyelids, moving down to finally kiss my needy lips. I immediately reciprocated her tender kiss and transformed it from loving and graceful to voracious and slightly sloppy.

"Can't we stay for one more day?"

"I'll buy the tickets for tomorrow," Regina said coyly, smiling at me over her shoulder as she walked to the desk to grab my laptop. I grinned gratefully at her as she sat down beside me and booked our flight.

————————————————

The next morning, I pulled the covers over my head and hoped that it wasn't today. But sure enough, Regina was clinging onto my side and the air was incredibly too hot for my liking. Regina was awake before me and woke me up herself to get a head-start before we left for the airport at noon. I was reluctant to leave, but even more reluctant to get back to Storybrooke. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that the loyal citizens were out for me. Regina assured me that everyone was under control, but that's hard to say when we were thousands of miles away. For all we knew, the town could be burned down and abandoned to be run by Rumple.

Regina said I was paranoid, but I corrected her.

"I'm not paranoid, I don't wanna go home," I grumbled.

"Stop acting like a child."

"I've been here for three days. I have a right to complain."

"I've been here for one and a half, _I _should be the one to complain, now get up." I groaned rather loudly, making Regina's cheeks tint bright red, as I sat up in bed and looked around for my clothes or suitcase.

"I put them under the bed," Regina answered my silent question. I answered a quiet "thanks," and dug around for my underwear, a pair of dark grey jeans, and a t-shirt Regina let me borrow so I wouldn't be freezing in a tank top once we landed in Boston.

Regina got more and more impatient as I stalled by making conversation, and by the time I was dressed, she was threatening to leave for breakfast without me. It was already quarter past ten, so we went down for breakfast, and before we knew it, we were double-checking the hotel room for any forgotten items before we left.

"Can we go for vacation in Athens another time?" I asked Regina sweetly. She chuckled and threw a pillow at me before checking around the room one last time.

"I think we're ready to go," she said hopefully.

"We should go to Spain!" I offered. "Or Rome. Or Australia. Or France! Can we go to France?"

"We'll see, Snow. Calm down for two seconds."

"I _am _calm," I said with earnest. "I'm really calm."

"Too calm for me to think you're okay," she muttered, before wheeling her suitcase to the door, looking around for the fourth time, then realizing I didn't get up from the couch and pulled me up.

"We need to come back." Regina rolled her eyes and held the door open for me as I led my own suitcase out the door.

Once outside of the hotel, Regina called us a taxi as I inhaled the last of the fresh Grecian air. I would definitely be coming back here. It was the perfect romantic vacation, and I could tell behind all of Regina's no-nonsense exterior, she loved the place. Definitely somewhere to look into when thinking about honeymoons. The thought didn't scare me as much as it used to now. If anything, it excited me. I just wouldn't be telling Regina that soon, I don't think.

————————————————

Storybrooke was the same as it always was, and people didn't turn and stare at me or shout profanities at me as my presence became known. After we came home, I asked Regina to move in with me, mostly because I love her, but a small part of me was afraid that if I couldn't see her, she wouldn't love me, as stupid as it may sound. She had all her stuff at my house in two days.

We were making room for her clothes in my closet, which wasn't very hard.

"Why do you have so many pantsuits?" Regina asked.

"Because a mayor has to be professional while still giving an air of power," I said professionally, exactly like I had explained to some people in my politician-voice.

"You have too many," she mumbled.

"Would you rather me have my extravagant dresses I wore in the Enchanted Forest?"

"Well, they did do wonders for your body," Regina said casually. I snickered and handed her another full box of clothes.

"They did, didn't they?"

"You're being quite modest."

"You said two seconds ago that it was the truth. Who am I to disagree?" Regina chortled and handed the empty box out of the closet.

"There. We've finished." I grinned at Regina and immediately bounded to her, scooping up her tiny body in my arms and squeezing her while kissing her ear, her cheeks, anywhere my mouth could reach.

"I love you. So much," I whispered. Regina clasped my cheeks in her palms and kissed me sweetly, but also with passion. "I'm so glad you slapped some sense into me."

"Oh god, I forgot about that." Regina stroked my cheek gently. "Sorry." I laughed.

"I'm fine, dear." And it wasn't a lie like that statement usually was. That was what I said when Regina asked me how I was doing during one of her father's tasteless balls and parties. That's what I said when Rumplestiltskin asked how I was coming along with my magic and my revenge fantasies. Every time I said that, I lied. It was a habit I haven't been able to kick since I've learned how to talk. But I knew Regina _truly _changed me, because that statement was true when I was with her. I didn't know what was about to happen next, but I knew from this day forward, I would be fine. _Actually _fine.

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**Thank you so so much for reading this and supporting me, you guys all mean so much to me. Please let me know what you think and what you'd like to see next! **

**On a separate note, I wanna know, has anyone read the new Hunger Games prequel? I'm on chapter seventeen and I'm in LOVE!! Definitely recommend it, and if anyone's read it, I wanna know! Until next time!**


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